Work Gripes

This story is loosely related to your story.

Back in the late 90s or early 2000s when work DLs were still kind of new at the bank I was working at somebody wanted to invite their department to a "BBQ" (how they put it in the subject). But instead of using the DL for their department, they used the DL for the entire bank by mistake. What happened next was several things not necessarily in this order:
  • The sender realized his mistake and send another mail to the entire bank retratcting the invitaton.
  • Several people asked if they counld bring anything.
  • Some people asked what was included.
  • Several people made joking replies about either the BBQ or the retraction of the invitation.
  • Several people asked that everybody stop replying to the e-mail.
  • Some people asked the people asking people to stop replying to also stop replying.
All the replies were reply alls which included the original DL as well as anybody who had already responded to the chain. And it would deliver multiple copies as they system was not advanced enough to filter or detect duplicates. It was all quite funny except to the people maintaining the e-mail service. See about 1/2 of the people who sent the e-mail requested a read-receipt to their mail. Within an hour the mail system got completely bogged down. The only way out was they had to shut the whole system down and auto-delete any message that had the word "BBQ" in the subject line.

I haven't tried but I am pretty sure that even today it would reject a subject of "BBQ" in the e-mail. I wish I could report on the BBQ but alas I was not invited.
This one wins the internet.
We had a bad one, but not this epic. I had gotten 75 or 80 replies to one funked up chain like this, but it didn’t break our email server.

I‘ll have to forward this story to my coworkers. They’ll think it’s funny.
 
Okay I got one that just happened yesterday.... To me so it's a weird coincidence we got to talking about this. It's not email but it's during our daily conference call.

We have a daily conference and I call in. I say hello and then I mute the call. That's what I've done for like a year and a half now and I only unmute it if they directly ask me a question or I want to answer an open question from somebody.

So I mute the call and then I just get to texting with Pam... But as you all know from my rambling posts here I dictate all my texts these days. So she asked me something and I replied with the question

" Oh you mean our sex on your birthday?"

And then of course I realized I had not actually muted the teleconference.

Fortunately only like four or five of us were on the call. I think at the time because it was a few minutes before the scheduled start time, but I still picked up the phone and said something like

"hey everyone. I think you may have heard something that I was saying to a friend when I thought the phone was muted. I apologize about that. That was super embarrassing. Im sorry Abt that guys".

And one girl straight up laughed in my face and the rest of them didn't really say anything so it wasn't that bad. But it really was super embarrassing.
 
To briefly reiterate my mass email story, it was sent by a person with an access list to a closed, computer lab area. It was sent to maybe 2,000 people. The first problem was that this was not a common thing; this closed-area list was never addressed collectively before. So, of course, one of the slew of reply-alls was from people angry about being on the list, and people angry about people replying-all about being angry.

But the subject of the mass email had to do with leaving the computers "on" overnight. The lab manager wanted everything to be shut-down when people left. That prompted a barrage of reply-alls about needing to leave the computers on, with one person claiming the boot-up process reduces productivity. He actually did a one year calculation.

Another person said that just the monitors should be turned off, to save energy. That's when I got involved. I replied with a link to a tech article showing that monitors don't use any power when in standby mode. And I suggested that perhaps they should address the 5 wall-sized AC units that run 24-7 instead. This prompted a one-word reply of "Bravo" from one of our company's top Chief Engineers (who also happened to have been my college campus recruiter 25 years earlier). That was probably the highlight of my career.
 
monitors don't use any power when in standby mode. And I suggested that perhaps they should address the 5 wall-sized AC units that run 24-7 instead.

Dude, even without the kudos from the big shot former college recruiter....That was a fucking badass reply all.

if you're going to become one of the reply all people it should be condescending and snarky to the extreme and you nailed it

you basically said:

"hey assholes all of you replying all are stupid and the topic initially was stupid. Fuck you.... Here's a much easier way to save some energy costs and help the environment, you dumb dumbs now shut up". Hahahahahahah

Well done Scotch! That was freaking awesome!
 
Every couple of months the higher-ups tell my boss he needs to hit certain quotas and he pushes that on us. It's a trickle down.

The consistent one has been Google reviews. Now you guys know me. So you know I'm an asshole but I'm really good at tricking strangers and random customers into thinking I'm a very nice, sweet guy. So once they rent a unit from me, I can ask them to do me a favor and go to Google on their phone and type in public storage McNab and give me a quick review and 8 out of 10 times they just hand me their phone and I write my own review.

Yesterday that's what happened with a guy who was super nice. But then he asked me to do the same thing for him. So I did it. He's got some locksmith business. The review I wrote was basically the equivalent of letting him deepthroat me. I know how important these reviews are so I wanted to make it as fucking shiny as possible. Check it out!.


I've never had somebody ask me to do tit for tat like that before so I really got a kick out of it. Also this was on Angie's list which was a giant pain in the ass like I had to sign up for the website in order to review this guy. Google reviews are super easy cuz everybody already has a Google account. But I got into it. I even like went to my door and took a picture of the door knob that he supposedly opened for me even though 100% of the review was complete bullshit.
 
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While I'm bitching about work and quotas, the current quota we have to hit is rent by phone.

Rent by phone is really hard if you're actually trying to do it the right way like a person on the telephone renting the unit from you.

However, you can easily game the system.

When a person with a reservation shows up, you just pretend like you're renting them a unit the normal way they have no idea. But really you're doing the rent by phone thing so all it means is that they get a text and then they have to type in their own credit card information on their phone and then I get credit for a rent by phone rental.

That's how I've done both of my rent by phones this month.

Also I told my boss about it and he's totally cool with it because he doesn't give a shit. He just has to hit a quota too for his boss.

His boss is kind of hot. She's this skinny like Arabian chick with big boobs but also kind of a giant nose and we definitely talk about stuff we would do with her. My boss is a Spanish bro. It's kind of cool to have a boss that's a bro. Like I'm pretty sure he hazed people in college.
 
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So a new customer the same day she rented the unit ran into my gate with her U-Haul and completely destroyed it. It cannot be fixed. It has to be replaced. Apparently that's somewhere around 10 large.

Poor lady was a good person and honest about it. She did it after office hours and was waiting the next morning to tell me about it when I opened. Her insurance premiums are going to skyrocket.

Funny thing is I had some major gate repairs done probably 4 days before she did it.

On the plus side, when the gate is broken I get an extra hour of overtime everyday for doing under 5 minutes of work. At 9:00 p.m. And 6:00 a.m. I go out there and place cones and then remove the cones. Since regular gate hours are 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m..

Drag your feet fixing that shit public storage. I'm all about it. Hahahah.

I'm hoping the higher-ups just forget about it because they have a tendency to do that. I'll take 5 hours of overtime every week for almost zero work as long as they'll give it to me.

But I made the mistake of being a good employee and getting the woman's insurance info so they're probably not going to forget because they can charge her for it.

 
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I tend to keep my eyes on rental trucks that I pass on the road for that very reason.

Maybe if you stopped staring at U-Hauls and kept your eyes on all of the road, you wouldn't have been sideswiped that time a little while ago.

(That's retaliation for your jab in Idrather's thread when I was talking about Saskatoon) Hehehehe.
 
So we have a rat fucking problem at this place. And it's a common occurrence for any outdoor self Storage. Thank God none of them show up in the apartment because I would seriously consider leaving. I'm pretty sure it's a mix of the fact that they know a human is in here and they can also smell a cat.

But anyway, thanks to good old corporate bureaucracy everything moves at the pace of fucking a molasses flood.

So I've had enough. I've just been bitching to my boss non-stop about it because this is ridiculous. I constantly have to put up with customers bitching about rats like eating their shit. If it was mice I would be happier because mice are kind of cute. Rats are goddamn disgusting and I don't want the fucking plague in 2025. We already lived through that 5 years ago.

Terminix is useless to the point where I got in a fight with a guy and I recorded it to play it for my boss because all he's willing to do is come more often and do the same thing he's doing now so that's like saying If I broke my ankle and the doctor's treatment was not fixing it, all he would be willing to do is see me more often to apply the same treatment.

Anyway, I'm going to post my audio and please note that I come off sounding like a dick and I'm well aware of that. But this is more than a fucking year-long battle and so I've lost my cool. The rats are in the fucking ceiling and terminix refuses to do anything in the ceiling. They will only refill the bait boxes that are on the ground and I've got a whole bunch of bait units that I've taken offline so customers can't rent them and the fucking terminix guy fights me over putting like $1 rat traps in those units so I've had enough and I've lost my cool and this is the result of it.

 
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So we have a rat fucking problem at this place. And it's a common occurrence for any outdoor self Storage. Thank God none of them show up in the apartment because I would seriously consider leaving. I'm pretty sure it's a mix of the fact that they know a human is in here and they can also smell a cat.

But anyway good old corporate bureaucracy everything moves at the pace of fucking a molasses flood.

So I've had enough. I've just been bitching to my boss non-stop about it because this is ridiculous. I constantly have to put up with customers bitching about rats like eating their shit. If it was mice I would be happier because mice are kind of cute. Rats are goddamn disgusting and I don't want the fucking plague in 2025. We already live through that 5 years ago.

Terminix is useless to the point where I got in a fight with a guy and I recorded it to play it for my boss because all he's willing to do is come more often and do the same thing he's doing now so that's like saying If I broke my ankle and the doctor's treatment was not fixing it, all he would be willing to do is see me more often to apply the same treatment.

Anyway, I'm going to post my audio and please note that I come off sounding like a dick and I'm well aware of that. But this is more than a fucking year-long battle and so I've lost my cool. The rats are in the fucking ceiling and terminix refuses to do anything in the ceiling. They will only refill the bait boxes that are on the ground and I've got a whole bunch of bait units that I've taken offline so customers can't rent them and the fucking terminix guy fights me over putting like $1 rat traps in those units so I've had enough and I've lost my cool and this is the result of it.

I love how he doesn't answer when you ask him if you sound like a crazy person.
 
I love how he doesn't answer when you ask him if you sound like a crazy person.

If you're dealing with 16 months of rats, are you not going to sound like a crazy person? When terminix tells you they're not going to do what you know they need them to do. Just fucking put a bunch of fucking poison in the ceiling. It's not that hard.

I've got a plan though. I'm going to pay our handyman to do it. I've got the fucking budget. I got to get my boss's approval but I'm pretty sure I can do it. He's cool about that shit.
 
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