Listening to an old show. And here's another Howard quote about marriage from 2002. My morbid fascination continues...
Sept 10, 2002:
Caller: I need to know how to convince [my boyfriend to get married]
Howard: You should never convince a man to get married, number one.
Caller: Why is that?
Howard: Because why do you want to be married?
Caller: Because we do everything else together. We live together. We pay the bills together.
Howard: So why be married? Why be married? Why do you have to be married?
Caller: Because it seems like the next logical step.
Howard: No. You see that's where the difference between men and women exists. There is no logical anything next!
Robin: Let me ask you something...
Howard: Live together!
Robin: ...if this was your daughter...
Howard: Go ahead.
Robin: ...would you want her to be living this way.
Howard: Ask my daughters what I tell them, cuz you'll never believe me.
Robin: I'm asking!
Howard: I tell them don't rush into some dumbass marriage with some dude.
Robin: You're saying get married eventually but don't rush in on it.
Howard: Only get married if you're gonna have kids, and if you're gonna have kids you gotta work things out ahead of time in terms of the legality of it. And I told them they gotta do that. It's the only fair thing. I told my daughters if you're gonna be working girls and you're making money, you don't have to hand your money over to some dude. It's insane!
Caller: But what if you love him, Howard?
Robin: They should hand over their money?
Howard: You love him, so you're with him. He loves you. What do you want from him?
Caller: His last name.
Robin: So, start using it.
Howard: Yeah.
Robin: Change your name legally.
Howard: It's silly. Girls always want to go the next logical step. They always gotta ruin something good. How old are you?
Caller: How old am I? I'm 28.
Howard: You're too young to be married anyway.
Caller: I feel like I'm an old hag.
Howard: No, you're not an old hag. In two years you'll be an old hag.
Caller: So I should just leave it alone?
Howard: Yes, leave it alone. And if you want to be married, go to a different guy that wants to get married. There's no reason to be married.