What Does This Have To Do With The Show?
- Thread starter Kryptonite
- Start date
scotchandcigar
All I wanted was some steak
You won't be getting an explanation from me.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
It reminded me of Fartman, as this is the "Tenuous and Obscure" links to the show thread.
Things that have zero to do with the show but remind us OF random show moments/people/scenes/etc.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Here's an example from the first page. Some random person said "I lost my lover and I lost my best friend" which is definitely something a Howard fan would recognize although it's not a moment directly from the show.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
sadchild
Dude
Another marriage quote
1/13/2003:
Robin: By the way though, I do have to make one observation about you.
Howard: Thank you.
Robin: You are constantly talking about marriage for somebody who's not in it.
Howard: Not about my marriage. I talk about Ross and Melissa who want to have kids. And I toasted Artie and Dana. Artie's very close to proposing. I was just trying to get the romance going.
Robin: You are a maniac.
Howard: Even Robin and Mr X, I proposed marriage for.
Caller: Come on, Howard. You bought a ring for Valentine's Day.
Howard: No, no. Robin thinks I'm gonna get married again. But I can assure you I'm not.
Robin: You always say that you can only carry on about the things that are in your head. And nobody else is- all of a sudden ... marriage is okay.
Howard: Oh! You're not wrong. Marriage is definitely on my mind. But not in the way you think.
Robin: All right. Okay.
Stuttering John: The question is does Beth want to get married.
Howard: Beth says no but everyone always goes, "Of course she wants to get married". She says no. I said, "Listen, we talk about this almost every day."
Robin: Well, why would you be talking about it?
Howard: I want to make sure that if Beth wants to be married she understand I don't.
1/13/2003:
Robin: By the way though, I do have to make one observation about you.
Howard: Thank you.
Robin: You are constantly talking about marriage for somebody who's not in it.
Howard: Not about my marriage. I talk about Ross and Melissa who want to have kids. And I toasted Artie and Dana. Artie's very close to proposing. I was just trying to get the romance going.
Robin: You are a maniac.
Howard: Even Robin and Mr X, I proposed marriage for.
Caller: Come on, Howard. You bought a ring for Valentine's Day.
Howard: No, no. Robin thinks I'm gonna get married again. But I can assure you I'm not.
Robin: You always say that you can only carry on about the things that are in your head. And nobody else is- all of a sudden ... marriage is okay.
Howard: Oh! You're not wrong. Marriage is definitely on my mind. But not in the way you think.
Robin: All right. Okay.
Stuttering John: The question is does Beth want to get married.
Howard: Beth says no but everyone always goes, "Of course she wants to get married". She says no. I said, "Listen, we talk about this almost every day."
Robin: Well, why would you be talking about it?
Howard: I want to make sure that if Beth wants to be married she understand I don't.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Artie and Dana. Mr. X.
Yikes.
Yikes.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Taylor Swift – Wood
Laden with innuendos and sexual humor, “Wood” has Taylor Swift singing cheekily about the confidence and joy that she feels in her relationship with Travis Kelce. The lyrics may
genius.com
So does this knock on the door mean Taylor Swift's agent or are we gonna get a rant from Howard about how everyone in the pros is huge and he has a mushroom?
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
There was a police situation across the street from my house this afternoon. I heard a few sirens, looked outside and saw some cop cars moving slowly down the street. Seeing nothing of interest, I went back in to the NFL games.
I got on the police scanner and heard some stuff indicating the police found the guy right across the street.
I look outside and the guy is down on the ground, face down, hands out, etc etc. The one cop definitely had his gun out before a bunch of other cops swarmed up and they got the guy.
Anyhoo, it turned out the guy had warrants and tried to run.
The Howard connection: "There's cops all up in here!"
I got on the police scanner and heard some stuff indicating the police found the guy right across the street.
I look outside and the guy is down on the ground, face down, hands out, etc etc. The one cop definitely had his gun out before a bunch of other cops swarmed up and they got the guy.
Anyhoo, it turned out the guy had warrants and tried to run.
The Howard connection: "There's cops all up in here!"
geosync
Well-Known Member
"There's cops all up in this? Terrible version of a young black male I suppose.
"I know guys who died face down in the muck so you could enjoy this family restaurant'
Hey where is Stern? Two weeks off? Are they going to make up the sick week?
Yeah here in Portlandia it's a real war zone at my house. Don't sweat the technique.
"I know guys who died face down in the muck so you could enjoy this family restaurant'
Hey where is Stern? Two weeks off? Are they going to make up the sick week?
Yeah here in Portlandia it's a real war zone at my house. Don't sweat the technique.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
I guess Howard wasn't joking when he said he'd get a day off for the Andy Cohen interview.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
I'm watching "David Blaine Do Not Attempt" which is on Hulu and Disney+. He goes around the world learning about magic in different regions and does some tricks.
The "Arctic Circle" episode has a mention of him being trapped in a block of ice at 27. He's now 50.
The "Arctic Circle" episode has a mention of him being trapped in a block of ice at 27. He's now 50.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Here's a fairly tenuous link to the show:
theconversation.com
Ask or aks? How linguistic prejudice perpetuates inequality
Linguicism sees people penalised for speaking in non-standard forms of English.
theconversation.com
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
I read this in a Crackhead Bob voice.
sadchild
Dude
The beginning of the end here with the ol' "I'm never getting married again" attitude
1/21/2003:
Howard: Simon will you marry this woman?
Simon: I'm not gonna marry anybody.
Howard: You don't want to get married?
Simon: Do you?
Howard: Do I want to be married? No, I've been married. It didn't work.
Simon: Ohh!
Howard: It doesn't work.
1/22/2003:
Caller: What's up with you and Beth? I mean you've been crying about her being away, not taking care of yourself. I'm trying not to curse here, but you complain about it too much. I mean are you gonna marry her or what?
Howard: No I'm not getting married but the fact is that she-
Robin: You might as well.
Howard: She was away for a week, and rather than cheat on her I wacked it. Why is that bad to say?
Gary: No no, I think he's saying that you've just been complaining she's gone in general.
Howard: Well yeah! I love being with her.
Robin: But "rather than cheating on her I wacked it"??
Howard: Of course!
Robin: That's not what you're up to at all. Stop lying!
Gary: What did he do?
Howard: What am I up to? Tell me.
Caller: You got a dog first. That's another thing. I mean you're definitely gonna marry her.
Robin: He's married already!
Howard: I'm not married.
Caller: You're right, Robin. He is married already.
Howard: I'm not married.
Robin : Yes you are, on everything but paper.
Howard: I'm faithful to her, if that's what you're asking.
...
Robin: The point is the way you're carrying on about Beth is like you're married. You need her every moment if she's away. And "I miss her". And "I've got nobody to talk to".
Howard: No, when you're married you don't miss anybody.
Gary: Well, there's different levels. He's talking about the early stages. And then he talked about how come when you were married for a long time-
Howard: All right. Sorry. I won't miss her anymore. Aye-yi-yi.
Robin: No, go ahead and get married!
Howard: I don't want to be married. What, you don't miss Mister X when you're away from him ever?
Robin: Sure
Howard: So why don't you get married?
Robin: But not like this!
Howard: Like what? I just said I missed her!
Gary: You know what? You're not financially married, but you're like almost emotionally married. You know what I mean?
Robin: Almost? He is!
Howard: I have a girlfriend.
Gary: Well it's more than-
Howard: I have a girlfriend- What do you mean it's more than that?
Robin: You can't even sleep.
2/3/2003:
Gary: So Beth sits down and she goes, "Oh, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that Howard proposed marriage to me." But that wasn't the funny part. The funny part was that she told me that you asked her to repeat the dream three times and don't leave out any details.
Howard: Yeah I wanted to hear it.
Gary: See I didn't think you'd want to hear it.
Howard: I didn't run away from it. The stupid me freaks out and runs out the door. I was like, "Oh let me hear that." And each time she told me I laughed harder.
Robin: Of course you did. Because you know it's gonna happen. Your dreams are gonna come true. Nervous laughter.
Howard: It was so funny too because usually I panic and just go, "I'm not getting..." But really it's a dream. And that's fine.
Robin: It's not fine. That's your subconscious.
Gary: And I was thinking that you were softening up.
Howard: Sub is ok, conscious is the one I have a problem with.
Robin: Nope! The subconscious is much more powerful. Much more powerful.
Gary: Here's how she took it. And here's how she described it to us.
Howard: Go ahead.
Gary: That you were just so adorable that you wanted to hear it over and over again.
Robin: Yeah, she didn't see you laugh.
Howard: It was romantic.
Gary: Yeah, she said you were so romantic. And I'm thinking, "Wow, Howard's, like, softening up to this idea."
Howard: No.
Robin: Baba Booey, don't you listen to me?
Howard: I love romance.
Robin: Oh yeah, right.
Howard: Somebody else's.
Robin: Well, this is yours, darling.
Howard: It's just a dream.
Gary: Yeah, I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. She totally got the impression that you weren't freaked out by it.
Howard: I wasn't freaked out at all by it.
Robin: I told you he's right there. He's ready.
Howard: No I am not. I have never been more convinced that marriage is a joke.
Robin: Fine. Until you're not. And that day will hit you and you'll be married. You'll come in here and announce it.
Gary: I'm bringing the best gift I can to your wedding. The biggest one I can find. You know what? When you get married, I'm gonna pay to congratulate you on the Jumbotron in Times Square.
2/10/2003:
Bobo: Is there any truth to Robin's theory that you are a stone's throw away from giving Beth a ring for Valentine's Day?
Robin: No, I never said it was a ring for Valentine's Day.
Howard: If I buy her a ring for Valentine's Day, it ain't gonna be no engagement ring. I'm telling you...
Robin: This is not my theory. I didn't say that.
Gary: If he's gonna get married it's gonna be like erosure. It's a very slow process.
Howard: No, as far as I'm concerned, I am married in a sense that...
Robin: He's set up a whole family life. He's married!
Howard: Yeah. We hang out together. We do everything together. We're in love. But what do I need a- why do I need to get married for?
Robin: He'll do the rest of it, trust me.
Howard: Not me.
Gary: Two questions.
Robin: But it ain't for Valentine's Day.
Howard: Thank you.
Gary: Does she have a key to your apartment?
Howard: Yes.
Gary: Does she have a place at her apartment to put stuff-
Howard: Her or mine?
Gary: In your apartment.
Howard: Yes.
Gary: She's got a drawer or-
Howard: That's right.
Robin: See? And he already knows what things-
Bobo: Moved in!
Gary: And six months ago I said, "Does she have a key to your apartment?" and he said, "Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo, no."
Robin: Right.
Howard: We got a dog.
Robin: Trust me. He already set up a whole family thing. They're raising a dog together. It's over.
Howard: Whatever.
1/21/2003:
Howard: Simon will you marry this woman?
Simon: I'm not gonna marry anybody.
Howard: You don't want to get married?
Simon: Do you?
Howard: Do I want to be married? No, I've been married. It didn't work.
Simon: Ohh!
Howard: It doesn't work.
1/22/2003:
Caller: What's up with you and Beth? I mean you've been crying about her being away, not taking care of yourself. I'm trying not to curse here, but you complain about it too much. I mean are you gonna marry her or what?
Howard: No I'm not getting married but the fact is that she-
Robin: You might as well.
Howard: She was away for a week, and rather than cheat on her I wacked it. Why is that bad to say?
Gary: No no, I think he's saying that you've just been complaining she's gone in general.
Howard: Well yeah! I love being with her.
Robin: But "rather than cheating on her I wacked it"??
Howard: Of course!
Robin: That's not what you're up to at all. Stop lying!
Gary: What did he do?
Howard: What am I up to? Tell me.
Caller: You got a dog first. That's another thing. I mean you're definitely gonna marry her.
Robin: He's married already!
Howard: I'm not married.
Caller: You're right, Robin. He is married already.
Howard: I'm not married.
Robin : Yes you are, on everything but paper.
Howard: I'm faithful to her, if that's what you're asking.
...
Robin: The point is the way you're carrying on about Beth is like you're married. You need her every moment if she's away. And "I miss her". And "I've got nobody to talk to".
Howard: No, when you're married you don't miss anybody.
Gary: Well, there's different levels. He's talking about the early stages. And then he talked about how come when you were married for a long time-
Howard: All right. Sorry. I won't miss her anymore. Aye-yi-yi.
Robin: No, go ahead and get married!
Howard: I don't want to be married. What, you don't miss Mister X when you're away from him ever?
Robin: Sure
Howard: So why don't you get married?
Robin: But not like this!
Howard: Like what? I just said I missed her!
Gary: You know what? You're not financially married, but you're like almost emotionally married. You know what I mean?
Robin: Almost? He is!
Howard: I have a girlfriend.
Gary: Well it's more than-
Howard: I have a girlfriend- What do you mean it's more than that?
Robin: You can't even sleep.
2/3/2003:
Gary: So Beth sits down and she goes, "Oh, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that Howard proposed marriage to me." But that wasn't the funny part. The funny part was that she told me that you asked her to repeat the dream three times and don't leave out any details.
Howard: Yeah I wanted to hear it.
Gary: See I didn't think you'd want to hear it.
Howard: I didn't run away from it. The stupid me freaks out and runs out the door. I was like, "Oh let me hear that." And each time she told me I laughed harder.
Robin: Of course you did. Because you know it's gonna happen. Your dreams are gonna come true. Nervous laughter.
Howard: It was so funny too because usually I panic and just go, "I'm not getting..." But really it's a dream. And that's fine.
Robin: It's not fine. That's your subconscious.
Gary: And I was thinking that you were softening up.
Howard: Sub is ok, conscious is the one I have a problem with.
Robin: Nope! The subconscious is much more powerful. Much more powerful.
Gary: Here's how she took it. And here's how she described it to us.
Howard: Go ahead.
Gary: That you were just so adorable that you wanted to hear it over and over again.
Robin: Yeah, she didn't see you laugh.
Howard: It was romantic.
Gary: Yeah, she said you were so romantic. And I'm thinking, "Wow, Howard's, like, softening up to this idea."
Howard: No.
Robin: Baba Booey, don't you listen to me?
Howard: I love romance.
Robin: Oh yeah, right.
Howard: Somebody else's.
Robin: Well, this is yours, darling.
Howard: It's just a dream.
Gary: Yeah, I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. She totally got the impression that you weren't freaked out by it.
Howard: I wasn't freaked out at all by it.
Robin: I told you he's right there. He's ready.
Howard: No I am not. I have never been more convinced that marriage is a joke.
Robin: Fine. Until you're not. And that day will hit you and you'll be married. You'll come in here and announce it.
Gary: I'm bringing the best gift I can to your wedding. The biggest one I can find. You know what? When you get married, I'm gonna pay to congratulate you on the Jumbotron in Times Square.
2/10/2003:
Bobo: Is there any truth to Robin's theory that you are a stone's throw away from giving Beth a ring for Valentine's Day?
Robin: No, I never said it was a ring for Valentine's Day.
Howard: If I buy her a ring for Valentine's Day, it ain't gonna be no engagement ring. I'm telling you...
Robin: This is not my theory. I didn't say that.
Gary: If he's gonna get married it's gonna be like erosure. It's a very slow process.
Howard: No, as far as I'm concerned, I am married in a sense that...
Robin: He's set up a whole family life. He's married!
Howard: Yeah. We hang out together. We do everything together. We're in love. But what do I need a- why do I need to get married for?
Robin: He'll do the rest of it, trust me.
Howard: Not me.
Gary: Two questions.
Robin: But it ain't for Valentine's Day.
Howard: Thank you.
Gary: Does she have a key to your apartment?
Howard: Yes.
Gary: Does she have a place at her apartment to put stuff-
Howard: Her or mine?
Gary: In your apartment.
Howard: Yes.
Gary: She's got a drawer or-
Howard: That's right.
Robin: See? And he already knows what things-
Bobo: Moved in!
Gary: And six months ago I said, "Does she have a key to your apartment?" and he said, "Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo, no."
Robin: Right.
Howard: We got a dog.
Robin: Trust me. He already set up a whole family thing. They're raising a dog together. It's over.
Howard: Whatever.
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
This seat number won the Christmas sweater on the 12/10 Tonight Show. (I accidentally hit the wrong option on my phone and didn't feel like taking a better picture.)
Kryptonite
Well-Known Member
Hot take:
Is Taylor Swift not that hot or is it just me? Am I missing all the talk about how hot she is? Is it just because I can't stand top 40 music and her fans would annoy me with their constant screaming?
Howard used to do those "butter face" contests where "everything is hot but her face".
Is it her red lipstick up against the ghost-white face? The bangs?
Me: "She's not that hot."
Some part of me: "Yeah, I know there's a bunch of pervy dudes somewhere on the internet who are absolutely fawning over how hot she is because that's the way dudes are online."
If she wasn't a pop megastar, but just had some boring 9-5 office job...she'd be above average, definitely, but she's nowhere near a 9-10 like I've got the voice in the back of my head telling me that some people think she is.
Is Taylor Swift not that hot or is it just me? Am I missing all the talk about how hot she is? Is it just because I can't stand top 40 music and her fans would annoy me with their constant screaming?
Howard used to do those "butter face" contests where "everything is hot but her face".
Is it her red lipstick up against the ghost-white face? The bangs?
Me: "She's not that hot."
Some part of me: "Yeah, I know there's a bunch of pervy dudes somewhere on the internet who are absolutely fawning over how hot she is because that's the way dudes are online."
If she wasn't a pop megastar, but just had some boring 9-5 office job...she'd be above average, definitely, but she's nowhere near a 9-10 like I've got the voice in the back of my head telling me that some people think she is.