Adventures In Koopland

I told you guys I'd be sharing some big news and here it is: say hello to Mr. Double Cactus!



For the low, low price of less than four Papaya Passion candles I picked up this little guy. Sadly I had to toss two of my other plants. I had this big tree that was half dead...it was like 3 feet tall, got it at Home Depot like a year ago. I didn't give it enough sun so it was on it's last leg. Also in the spot where Mr. Double Cactus now lives was a bonsai fern palm. It finally keeled over and died. I like having plants around me. My dad did too so I guess that's where I get it from. His dad, Jan, on top of being a principal of a school in Indonesia, was also a botanist. He published a few books that I still have. Of course they are in Dutch so I can't read them but they have some cool illustrations he drew himself. Hendrik used to always spend hours out in the garden during summer months planting flowers and veggies and stuff. He enjoyed the hobby. While That's not my bag, I do like having plants around.

We'll see how long this guy lasts. He won't get much sun but cactuses are resilient. I have this other Franken-cactus that I bought my dad years ago. It's a normal cactus with a red, round top. Apparently according to Hendrik that is not natural and it was bred to look that way. That thing has lived for like 5 years now in the same pot with the same soil that most definitely has no nutrients in it anymore. Hopefully Mr. Double Cactus will be able to persevere just as well.

Oh and I have an orchid. The thing hasn't bloomed in months but it's clearly still very alive. I think I see some new buds on it. Maybe it will surprise me one day.
 
got off the phone with my aunt. uhh...turns out my grandpop was a dick. like physically abusive to his wife and kids. i only knew him as a kindly old man...who knew he terrorized his family? funny thing was that my dad was only like 7 years younger than him. mary ann had a thing for old guys apparently.

kinda not cool family history. i like my dad's side better. they all seemed to love each other and be nice.
 
Families are goofy like that. They don't let you get too comfortable with any one story. When things are good, you learn something shitty, when you get to the point where you get used to the crap, you find out some cool things.
 
just got another 6 hundo of government cheese. not sure how i feel about it. feel mostly guilty. like i'm stealing from america. but i am still unemployed so it helps. thanks usa.
 
oh and to make matters worse the ex called and i stupidly took the call. she knew right away that my head state was not the best. i lied and told her some bs but then felt bad about it and texted with an admission/apology.

so things are going great over here. i shut off my phone.

plan now is to pretend it all didn't happen and watch downton abbey and community for 15 to 30 hours.
 
but she was calling to ask me to do her work for her...again...so how judgy can she really be?
 
There are a LOT of other boobs out there. Almost twice as many as there are women.
Find some that don't want anything in return.
 
well here we go

(BTW/to once again make this clear this is a joke cause i don't wan't any of you to think serious things here)

i am going to excrete a lot of things out of my penis, mouth, ass, and eye areas. surprisingly the nose and ear areas have not been an issue.

so the majority of my holes are leaking.
 
I ever tell you guys of the story when I think street tuffs were going to mug me in Amsterdam? I may have so sorry if I'm repeating. I have a finite number of stories.

So around 2009 I went with my dad. It was a great trip where we spent a week in Amsterdam then a week in Groningen. In Amsterdam the hotel had bikes cause all Dutch are bonkers for bikes. When the old man retired for the night we agreed it would be fun for me to take a bike. I decided a good idea was to ride around getting lost on purpose. You know, see the city. Saw a bunch of old churches with flying buttresses, it was neat.

I did this like 5 nights straight. At one point these two dudes started following me. I knew they were following cause I made like 10 turns and every time they would follow. I clearly looked like an easy target tourist. I was probably wearing an Eagles jersey or something like that. So eventually I caught on and got a bit nervous. I wasn't sure what to do. A bit of an anticlimactic end to the story but I wound up finding a bar and going in. They wouldn't do anything in a public house with a bunch of people around. It worked. Had a few drinks then got back on the bike to wander the city.
 
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Cool story! I always wanted to visit there. Also I like how they have a big city called The Hague, with 'The' in the city name.
 
Aaron said:
Cool story! I always wanted to visit there. Also I like how they have a big city called The Hague, with 'The' in the city name.
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We talked about visiting there because of the history of being the international court but it is south of Amsterdam and we were heading north so we missed it.
 
you guys want to hear a sad story?

hendrik told me that when he got back to The Netherlands after the war they rode bikes. But they didn't have tires so they rode on flat pieces of rubber attached to the tires.

He also told me a story of how they needed potatoes but it was freezing out and all the potatoes in the cart were ruined. Starving was kinda a fact of life back then i guess.

The old man had a tough life before becoming American.
 
JHDK said:
you guys want to hear a sad story?

hendrik told me that when he got back to The Netherlands after the war they rode bikes. But they didn't have tires so they rode on flat pieces of rubber attached to the tires.

He also told me a story of how they needed potatoes but it was freezing out and all the potatoes in the cart were ruined. Starving was kinda a fact of life back then i guess.

The old man had a tough life before becoming American.
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My parents also grew up piss poor in Brooklyn as the children of Holocaust escaping immigrants. My dad forged papers to get into the marines at 16, so he could send money home.
 
JHDK said:
I ever tell you guys of the story when I think street tuffs were going to mug me in Amsterdam? I may have so sorry if I'm repeating. I have a finite number of stories.

So around 2009 I went with my dad. It was a great trip where we spent a week in Amsterdam then a week in Groningen. In Amsterdam the hotel had bikes cause all Dutch are bonkers for bikes. When the old man retired for the night we agreed it would be fun for me to take a bike. I decided a good idea was to ride around getting lost on purpose. You know, see the city. Saw a bunch of old churches with flying buttresses, it was neat.

I did this like 5 nights straight. At one point these two dudes started following me. I knew they were following cause I made like 10 turns and every time they would follow. I clearly looked like an easy target tourist. I was probably wearing an Eagles jersey or something like that. So eventually I caught on and got a bit nervous. I wasn't sure what to do. A bit of an anticlimactic end to the story but I wound up finding a bar and going in. They wouldn't do anything in a public house with a bunch of people around. It worked. Had a few drinks then got back on the bike to wander the city.
Click to expand...
I'm sure I told this somewhere, but I had a similar experience. Four of us 15 year olds took a bus into NYC to see the auto show. We also went into the photo district, and roamed around the Empire state bldg.

Some of us were told by our parents how to protect our money and belongings, but one friend, a trust-fund kid, thought it was all a big joke. He was flashing all his bills and shouting "we've got money, lots of money".

A little while later, we were walking around the entrance to the Empire state bldg, and it was Sunday, so everything was closed, and there were few people around. A guy walked up to us, asked us the time, then continued walking. A friend said it looked like he was carrying something under his jacket. Next thing we know, he and another guy come back at us from behind. He told us all to pull into the alley and give us everything we had, or else. A friend and I peeled off into the Empire entrance, the other 2 got mugged, including the smartass friend.
 
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