Things That Nobody Needs

That would be great.

It's an investment.
There are other things that I'd rather spend $30 mil to sit and stare at. Some laws may need to be researched first though.
 
Many people enjoy popping bubble wrap. Not one of them ever said, "Ya know what would be nice? A bubble wrap popper built into a belt buckle." And yet somebody did indeed invent the Burst Your Bubble belt buckle.

 
The therapeutic value of popping bubble wrap comes from squishing those mini air pillows between your fingers. The tactile and auditory sensations that result trigger a neural response in the brain that is not unlike taking a drug or seeing a guy in a Porsche getting a speeding ticket.
 
For some reason I always thought that the Charmin guy was imagining the girl working the cash register when he was groping the rolls of TP.

Maybe that was just me......
 
Thoughtful, sensitive, caring, touchy-feely commercials from the car manufacturers, trying to convince you that it's OK to drop $50k on one of their new, hulking SUVs right now - because they'll stand behind you if you lose your job due to the virus. Fuhhhhhhkk dat! How about this: during a global pandemic, where half the country is out of work, and nobody can go anywhere, give it a rest with the new car sales! And they go the whole 9 yards - the sad solo piano music, images of caring people, etc. It's like they got together and had a bullshit-fest.

When I watch my local news channel at night, I see the same handful of ads at every commercial break: Ford, Toyota, Hyundai, Kia, and less frequently Chevy and Lexus. They all have some farked-up message to deliver - Toyota says "someday things will get back to normal, and we're keeping our service shops open, so that you can rely on your Toyota when you need it most". I can't think of a time when I've needed a car less. Nobody has a job to go to, nothing is open, there's no school or sports or entertainment. Why would you want people who can't pay their rent to buy a new truck?

It's just the same ads over and over, only broken-up by the local political ads for senator (Susan Fukkin Collins vs a woman with the voice of a 12-year old girl). Nobody needs this.
 
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Who else will advertise? Add to that list a couple FM stations and government ads up here.

Subaru has ads thanking health care workers. I guess one is supposed to feel so good they run right out and buy a new car. I am not sure how car sales is an essential service. I understand the service department but not sales.

I do like the hotels.com one with Captain Obvious self isolating. Kind of funny.
 
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