DRC Madness #43: Fictional Horror & Serial Movie Characters

DRC MADNESS #43 — THE GAUNTLET RESULTS​

The voting is over.

The gates are locked.

There are no recounts.

There are no appeals.

And considering what is about to happen, there probably won't be many witnesses either.

45 HORROR CHARACTERS ENTERED THE GAUNTLET.

Only 23 will survive.

The arena goes dark.

Forty-five killers, monsters, demons, creatures, psychopaths, and whatever the hell Dr. Tongue is stand waiting in the darkness.

A bell rings.

DING! DING! DING!

The lights explode back on.

THE GAUNTLET BEGINS!​

And immediately—

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!

Cujo charges into the crowd.

The Headless Horseman comes thundering across the arena.

The Zombies pour forward.

Pumpkinhead starts throwing bodies.

The Killer Klowns are laughing.

Stripe is destroying everything within reach.

Pearl looks disturbingly happy to be here.

And The Blob?

The Blob isn't fighting anybody.

THE BLOB IS FUCKING EATING THEM.

SOMEBODY STOP THAT DOG!​

Harry Warden raises his pickaxe and takes one swing at Cujo.

Bad idea.

Cujo ducks underneath it and launches himself directly into The Miner.

WHAM!

Harry crashes into the barricade.

He tries to get back up—

CUJO HITS HIM AGAIN!

Over the barricade he goes.

HARRY WARDEN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Billy from Black Christmas sees an opening.

He sneaks up behind Cujo.

Cujo slowly turns around.

Billy freezes.

Cujo growls.

Billy realizes that perhaps attacking the rabid Saint Bernard wasn't his finest strategic decision.

CUJO CHARGES!

Billy goes flying over the barricade.

BILLY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Cujo stands in the middle of the arena, growling at everybody.

Nobody volunteers to go next.

Smart move.

THE BLOB IS HUNGRY​

Mary Shaw is trying to stay away from the chaos when something touches her foot.

She looks down.

Pink goo.

Oh, shit.

The Blob surges forward.

Mary runs.

The Blob follows.

Mary runs faster.

THE BLOB DOES TOO.

She disappears underneath the massive pink creature.

One hand briefly reaches out.

Then it's gone.

MARY SHAW HAS BEEN ABSORBED!

Gary Sitterson witnesses the whole thing.

Gary starts looking around desperately for a control panel.

Wrong movie, Gary.

The Blob changes direction.

Gary runs.

The Blob follows.

Gary dives behind some wreckage.

The Blob rolls straight over it.

Gary's hand pops out the other side.

He's alive!

He starts crawling toward safety.

The Blob reverses.

SQUISH.

Never mind.

GARY SITTERSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Blob keeps moving.

Apparently those were appetizers.

THE HORSEMAN RIDES​

Suddenly—

THUNDERING HOOVES!

The Headless Horseman charges through the center of the arena.

Black Phillip stands directly in his path.

The goat doesn't move.

The Horseman doesn't slow down.

This is going to end badly for somebody.

WHAM!

Black Phillip goes flying over the barricade.

BLACK PHILLIP HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Reverend Henry Kane sees the Horseman coming and wisely moves in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately...

He backs directly into Pumpkinhead.

Kane slowly turns around.

Pumpkinhead looks down at him.

Kane smiles.

Pumpkinhead does not.

PUMPKINHEAD LAUNCHES KANE ACROSS THE ARENA!

Kane lands directly in front of the charging Horseman.

BOOM!

The Horseman sends him straight over the barricade.

REVEREND HENRY KANE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Completely accidental teamwork.

But teamwork.

WHO LET ALL THE ZOMBIES IN?!​

A groan echoes through the arena.

Then another.

Then another.

Suddenly there are Zombies everywhere.

Wait a damn minute.

Everyone else got ONE contestant!

WHO APPROVED AN ENTIRE FUCKING ZOMBIE HORDE?!

Baby Firefly starts swinging.

One Zombie drops.

Then another.

Then another.

Baby starts laughing.

Then she turns around.

There's an entire horde behind her.

Her expression changes.

OH, SHIT.

The Zombies swarm.

Baby disappears beneath the pile.

A hand reaches out.

Captain Spaulding notices.

Otis notices.

They look at Baby's hand.

They look at each other.

Neither moves.

The hand disappears.

BABY FIREFLY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Apparently Firefly family loyalty has terms and conditions.

THE KILLER KLOWNS JOIN THE SLAUGHTER​

On the opposite side of the arena, The Tooth Fairy charges directly toward the Killer Klowns.

One Klown reaches behind his back.

He pulls out an absurdly oversized mallet.

Because of course he does.

BONK!

The Tooth Fairy launches into the air.

Over the barricade.

Gone.

THE TOOTH FAIRY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Klowns celebrate.

Nobody else goes anywhere near them.
 

MANIAC COP MEETS AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM​

Matt Cordell storms through the wreckage.

He grabs The Grabber and starts dragging him toward the barricade.

The Grabber struggles.

Cordell nearly has him over—

VICTOR CROWLEY APPEARS!

Crowley slams into Cordell from behind.

Cordell releases The Grabber.

He turns around.

Wrong move.

Victor grabs him.

HEAVES HIM OVER THE BARRICADE!

MATT CORDELL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Grabber looks at Victor.

Victor looks at The Grabber.

The Grabber quietly backs away.

Excellent decision.

BRUNDLEFLY TAKES FLIGHT​

Angela Baker sees Brundlefly staggering near the barricade.

She charges.

Brundlefly turns—

AND GRABS HER!

Angela kicks.

Brundlefly lifts her higher.

Angela keeps fighting—

BRUNDLEFLY THROWS HER OVER!

ANGELA BAKER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Brundlefly buzzes away.

Angela probably should've stayed at summer camp.

THE DJINN GETS HIS WISH​

The Djinn approaches Audrey II.

He smiles.

Audrey II smiles back.

That's probably the first warning sign.

The Djinn leans closer.

Audrey opens wide.

CHOMP!

The Djinn disappears halfway into the plant.

His legs kick wildly.

Audrey pulls.

GULP!

Gone.

THE DJINN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Audrey II burps.

"FEED ME!"

Apparently one Djinn wasn't enough.

THE FIREFLY FAMILY REUNION​

Mick Taylor has survived everything so far.

Cujo.

The Zombies.

The Horseman.

The Blob.

Now he's stalking through the arena looking for his next victim.

Then—

CAPTAIN SPAULDING BLINDSIDES HIM!

Mick stumbles.

He turns around furious.

Spaulding starts laughing.

Mick charges—

SOMEBODY GRABS MICK FROM BEHIND!

It's Otis Driftwood.

Mick is trapped between them.

Oh, this is bad.

THE FIREFLY FAMILY HAS REUNITED!​

Mick elbows Otis.

Kicks Spaulding.

Nearly gets free.

Spaulding grabs one arm.

Otis grabs the other.

They look at each other.

They look toward the barricade.

Mick looks toward the barricade.

"OH, FUCK."

Spaulding and Otis charge.

Mick fights desperately—

AND THE FIREFLY FAMILY THROWS HIM OVER TOGETHER!

MICK TAYLOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Spaulding and Otis celebrate like they've just won the damn tournament.

Apparently blood is thicker than water.

Especially when most of the blood belongs to somebody else.

GABRIEL PICKS THE WRONG SHADOW​

Gabriel crawls through the chaos.

He spots The Babadook lurking in the darkness.

Gabriel approaches.

The lights flicker.

The Babadook disappears.

Gabriel looks around.

Nothing.

Then—

BABA...DOOK...DOOK...DOOK...

Gabriel turns.

Too late.

Something erupts from the shadows and sends him crashing over the barricade.

GABRIEL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Babadook disappears again.

Nobody goes looking for him.
 

SAM VS. PUMPKINHEAD​

Sam stands quietly in the center of the arena.
Pumpkinhead approaches.
Sam tilts his burlap-covered head.
Pumpkinhead stops.
For a moment neither moves.
Perhaps some kind of supernatural respect exists between them.
...
Nope.
PUMPKINHEAD CHARGES!
Sam goes flying backward.
He catches the barricade.
He's hanging on!
One hand!
Pumpkinhead walks over.
Sam looks up.
Pumpkinhead steps on his fingers.
Sam falls.
SAM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Pumpkinhead walks away.
That was cold.
Even for this tournament.

THE FISHERMAN GETS HOOKED​

Ben Willis swings his hook at Captain Spaulding.
Spaulding ducks.
The hook catches the barricade.
Ben pulls.
It's stuck.
He pulls harder.
Still stuck.
Otis notices.
Spaulding notices.
They look at each other.
Not again.
THE FIREFLY FAMILY STRIKES!
Spaulding kicks Ben from behind.
Otis grabs him.
Ben loses his balance—
OVER THE BARRICADE!
THE FISHERMAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Spaulding picks up the hook.
Looks at Otis.
Otis shakes his head.
Spaulding drops it.
Probably the first responsible decision he's made all evening.

HERBERT WEST SEES AN OPPORTUNITY​

Herbert West looks around at all the bodies.
His eyes light up.
For everyone else, this arena is a nightmare.
For Herbert West, this is basically Costco.
He pulls out a syringe.
WAIT!
The lights flicker.
Herbert freezes.
Something moves behind him.
The Boogeyman.
Herbert turns—
The lights go out.
CRASH!
The lights return.
Herbert is gone.
His syringe lands on the floor.
Then his glasses.
HERBERT WEST HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Well...
Probably.
It's Herbert West.
Never assume anything.

RED SEES DOUBLE​

Red emerges with her scissors and spots Pearl across the arena.
Pearl sees her.
Both women smile.
Neither smile is remotely comforting.
Red charges.
Pearl ducks.
They exchange blows.
Red swings the scissors—
Pearl catches her arm.
Stripe suddenly races through the middle of them, laughing like a lunatic.
Red gets distracted for half a second.
That's all Pearl needs.
PEARL SHOVES RED INTO STRIPE!
Stripe slams into her.
Red tumbles over the barricade.
RED HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Pearl waves goodbye.
Then smiles at Stripe.
Stripe screams.
Pearl screams back.
They both seem delighted.

SLENDER MAN FINALLY GETS NOTICED​

Slender Man has spent most of the Gauntlet standing ominously in the background.
Nobody has touched him.
Nobody wants to touch him.
Then The Headless Horseman rides past.
Stops.
The Horseman turns around.
No head.
Slender Man has no face.
They stare at each other.
Somehow.
This is awkward.
The Horseman charges.
Slender Man tries disappearing—
TOO LATE!
The Horseman's horse plows directly through him.
Slender Man goes over the barricade.
SLENDER MAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Apparently having no head beats having no face.
 

THE PALE MAN FINDS THE WRONG MEAL​

The Pale Man creeps toward Esther.

Esther notices.

She slowly backs away.

The Pale Man follows.

Esther keeps retreating—

Until she bumps into Audrey II.

She looks at Audrey.

Looks at the Pale Man.

Then smiles.

Esther ducks.

Audrey II lunges.

CHOMP!

The Pale Man gets snatched straight off his feet.

Audrey flings him over the barricade like rotten salad.

THE PALE MAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Esther dusts herself off and walks away.

Never underestimate the little girl.

Well...

"Little girl."

THE COLLECTOR GETS COLLECTED​

The Collector is setting a trap near the barricade.

The Grabber watches from behind him.

The Collector finishes.

Turns around.

The Grabber points behind him.

The Collector looks.

Nothing there.

He turns back—

THE GRABBER SHOVES HIM INTO HIS OWN TRAP!

The mechanism snaps.

The Collector stumbles backward.

Right over the barricade.

THE COLLECTOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Grabber looks down.

That's embarrassing.

️ THE ENTITY FOLLOWS THE WRONG PERSON​

The Entity from It Follows begins slowly walking toward Bughuul.

Bughuul watches.

The Entity keeps walking.

Bughuul doesn't move.

The Entity gets closer.

Bughuul disappears.

The Entity stops.

It turns.

Bughuul is suddenly behind it.

The Entity starts walking toward him again.

Bughuul disappears again.

This continues for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Finally The Entity follows Bughuul straight toward the barricade.

Bughuul vanishes one last time.

The Entity walks directly over the edge.

...

Everybody stares.

THE ENTITY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Bughuul reappears.

Possibly the slowest elimination in DRC Madness history.

CALTIKI MEETS THE BLOB​

Caltiki slides across the arena.

The Blob slides toward Caltiki.

The entire arena stops.

Blob.

Caltiki.

Two giant masses of murderous goo.

They collide.

SPLORCH!

Nobody knows what the hell we're looking at anymore.

Pink goo.

Dark goo.

Bubbling.

Slurping.

Something resembling digestion.

Finally The Blob pulls away.

Caltiki doesn't.

Because Caltiki is apparently now part of The Blob.

CALTIKI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

The Blob is getting bigger.

This may become a problem.

⚰️ HOW THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE STILL HERE?!​

The battle has thinned considerably.

And somehow...

DR. TONGUE IS STILL STANDING.

Nobody knows how.

Nobody remembers seeing him actually defeat anybody.

At one point Cujo ran directly past him.

Even Cujo apparently thought:

"Nah."

Across the arena—

SVENGOOLIE IS ALSO STILL HERE!

He's surrounded by serial killers, monsters, demons and an entire zombie apocalypse.

The horror host is surviving.

Maybe decades of introducing terrible horror movies has prepared him for exactly this.

But then something even stranger happens.

Something crawls out from underneath the wreckage.

One Beetle.

Then another.

Then another.

Then another.

THE BEETLES ARE STILL ALIVE!​

Of course they are.

The alleged five-time DRC Madness champions refuse to die.

The Blob moves toward them.

The Beetles scatter.

One gets partially absorbed.

The other three grab him.

PULL!

He pops free.

Covered in pink slime.

But alive.

THE BEETLES SURVIVE AGAIN!

At this point somebody needs to call an exterminator.

THE FINAL SLAUGHTER​

The remaining contestants are exhausted.

The arena is destroyed.

Bodies and weapons are everywhere.

The survivors begin realizing that the end is close.

Then everyone hears something.

tap...tap...tap...

A pair of scissors dragging across the floor?

No.

Something else.

The remaining monsters turn.

The last few doomed contestants realize they're surrounded.

Cujo growls.

The Zombies turn.

Pumpkinhead steps forward.

The Killer Klowns begin laughing.

The Blob starts sliding toward them.

There is no exit.

The Boogeyman emerges from the darkness.

The final struggling contestants scatter.

One tries hiding.

Another runs.

Nobody gets far.

The arena erupts one final time.

CRASH!

SCREAM!

SPLAT!

CHOMP!

And then—

Silence.

DING! DING! DING!

THE GAUNTLET IS OVER!​

The arena looks like a horror convention held inside a demolition derby.

The officials cautiously enter.

One immediately slips in something.

Nobody asks what it is.

They start counting.
 

☠️ THE 22 ELIMINATED​

Angela Baker.

Baby Firefly.

Billy.

Black Phillip.

Caltiki.

Gabriel.

Gary Sitterson.

Harry Warden.

Herbert West.

Mary Shaw.

Matt Cordell.

Mick Taylor.

Red.

Reverend Henry Kane.

Sam.

Slender Man.

The Collector.

The Djinn.

The Entity.

The Fisherman.

The Pale Man.

The Tooth Fairy.

Twenty-two are gone.

Which means...

THE 23 GAUNTLET SURVIVORS​

Audrey II

Brundlefly / Seth Brundle

Bughuul

Captain Spaulding

Cujo

Dr. Tongue

Esther

Killer Klowns

Otis Driftwood

Pearl

Pumpkinhead

Stripe

Svengoolie

The Babadook

The Blob

The Boogeyman

The Crooked Man

The Grabber

The Headless Horseman

The Phantom / Erik

The Beetles (The Mummy)

Victor Crowley

Zombies

The scoreboard lights up.

23 SURVIVORS​

That's it.

The Gauntlet has spoken.

Cujo walks toward the exit looking like he owns the place.

The Headless Horseman rides through the wreckage.

The Zombies shuffle behind him.

Pearl skips toward the gate looking disturbingly cheerful.

Spaulding and Otis celebrate surviving together.

The Killer Klowns are still laughing.

Dr. Tongue is alive for reasons nobody can adequately explain.

Svengoolie waves to the crowd.

The Crooked Man crawls out from under the debris.

The Beetles limp toward safety.

Pumpkinhead has something stuck to his foot.

Nobody wants to know what.

And The Blob begins sliding toward the exit.

The lights start shutting down.

The cleanup crew enters.

DRC MADNESS #43 HAS ITS FINAL FIELD.

...

Wait.

The Blob stops.

Something is rolling down the entrance ramp.

...



The Blob turns.

Another one appears.



Then another.



The crowd starts screaming.

The cleanup crew immediately leaves.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

More objects begin rolling down the ramp.

Dozens of them.

Red.

Round.

Angry.

OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.​

THE KILLER TOMATOES ARE HERE!​

They weren't nominated!

They weren't in the Gauntlet!

They weren't invited!

THE FUCKING VOTING IS ALREADY OVER!

The first Killer Tomato launches itself directly at The Blob.

SPLAT!​

The Blob absorbs it.

The crowd erupts.

Another Tomato attacks.

SPLAT!

The Blob eats that one too.

Three more roll forward.

The Blob surges toward them.

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

Tomato pulp goes everywhere.

Then—

Dozens more come rolling through the entrance.

THE KILLER TOMATOES ARE INVADING THE ARENA!​

The Blob starts swallowing them.

The Tomatoes keep coming.

The Blob gets covered in red pulp.

Tomatoes explode against the barricades.

Red liquid covers the floor.

At this point nobody can tell what's tomato sauce and what's supposed to be blood anymore.

The Killer Klowns stop celebrating.

Cujo turns around.

The Zombies stop eating whatever they were eating.

Pearl starts laughing.

The Headless Horseman turns his horse around.

Even The Beetles crawl back onto the barricade to watch.

Tournament officials rush into the arena.

They see The Blob fighting an army of homicidal Tomatoes.

They stop.

They look at each other.

...

THE OFFICIALS TURN AROUND AND LEAVE.

Smartest decision anyone has made all night.

Suddenly—

The scoreboard flickers.

23 SURVIVORS​

Static.

23 SURVIVORS

More static.

...

The screen goes black.

Then—

24 SURVIVORS​

The crowd erupts.

WHAT?!

A giant Killer Tomato rolls underneath the scoreboard.

Oh no.

No.

Absolutely not.

They weren't nominated.

They didn't compete.

They completely ignored the rules.

They invaded the arena after the fucking Gauntlet was already over.

...

Ah, fuck it.

​

SECRET WILD CARD!​

The Blob looks pissed.

The Tomatoes look hungry.

The tournament officials are gone.

Nobody appears willing to come back.

Fine.

​

​

​

​

24 ADVANCE TO DRC MADNESS #43!​

Nobody ask questions.

Nobody call the tournament committee.

And somebody please clean this fucking arena before Round 1.

​

...probably.
 
1791328985094.webp

Here is the official matches for Round 1 which will be posted tomorrow.

1791327997457.webp
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom