Do We Have A "stupid Things Happening In Florida" Subforum?

[scotchandcigar]

Florida man hurls sandwich at Subway employee because he was upset over how it was cut, deputies say​

Florida man hurls sandwich at Subway employee because he was upset over how it was cut, deputies say

The 54-year-old man told deputies he was upset over his sandwich not being cut.

www.fox35orlando.com

 

[Channel98]

Upset over how the sandwich was cut? I don't get it. Was he planning to eat it – or to bronze it and put it on permanent display in a museum?

Underwear-clad Florida man accused of prowling after bonsai theft

Police said Troy Stuart was wearing a gray hoodie, black shorts and a dark blue pair of underwear around his neck.

www.clickorlando.com

 

[scotchandcigar]

Bizarre.

 

[IdRatherBeSkiing]

Almost expected the first name on the report to be Jan.

 

[Channel98]

How to burn a gallon of gasoline in only a minute:

Florida man clocked driving 199 mph in dad's Camaro, cops say

A 20-year-old Florida man has been charged with racing on a highway after the Orange County Sheriff's Office observed him driving 199 mph.

www.usatoday.com

 

[HecticArt]

Dayum!!!!!
I've had my Ford Focus up to about 112 and decided it was a stupid idea.
A car with a real engine would probably be fun for a minute or so.

 

[scotchandcigar]

How to burn a gallon of gasoline in only a minute:

Florida man clocked driving 199 mph in dad's Camaro, cops say

A 20-year-old Florida man has been charged with racing on a highway after the Orange County Sheriff's Office observed him driving 199 mph.

www.usatoday.com

I did a thorough search, looking for any version of this story with a picture of the actual car, but no luck. It would have to be a ground-up drag racing car. Of course the article includes a stock picture of a showroom Camaro.

 

[HecticArt]

I'm certain that I can get my car going that fast.

If I have enough room,
and time.....

and a tail wind.....
and I'm going down hill.......

 

[scotchandcigar]

and I'm going down hill.......

No hope of that in Florida. But for drag cars, the roads are supremely flat.

 

[HecticArt]

If I’m heading OUT of Florida, I bet I can still top 200.

 

[Channel98]

This woman is a peabrain. Or maybe that should be "peebrain."

‘I have to pee:’ Woman who pulled pants down on Orlando flight faces federal charges

Footage shared with News 6 by passenger Julie Hartman shows Huertas saying, “Sorry, everybody” before pulling down her pants and squatting in the aisle.

www.clickorlando.com

 

[scotchandcigar]

This woman is a peabrain. Or maybe that should be "peebrain."

‘I have to pee:’ Woman who pulled pants down on Orlando flight faces federal charges

Footage shared with News 6 by passenger Julie Hartman shows Huertas saying, “Sorry, everybody” before pulling down her pants and squatting in the aisle.

www.clickorlando.com

She was really pissed off.

 

[Channel98]

I wonder if the flight attendant told her, "Ma'am, urine a lot of trouble now!"

 

[JHDK]

How gross must that have been? but also really funny. If I was on that plane at first I'd be grossed out but then i'd totally be laughing uncontrollably in my seat.

 

[sadchild]

She's a pisser!

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/pisser

 

[HecticArt]

She thought she was on JetGolden.

 

[Channel98]

The SUV driver threatened to shoot the girl and her father. SUV must stand for "stupid, unhinged and vile."

Angry driver pulls pistol on 18-year-old learning to drive with dad, Florida cops say

The man faces two counts of aggravated assault, records show.

www.aol.com

 

[Channel98]

Dumb: Posing as an Amazon driver. Dumber: posing as an Amazon driver to kidnap a child. Dumbest: Traveling more than 3,100 miles to do it.

Florida couple kidnaps cousin's baby in Federal Way after posing as Amazon driver

A Florida couple is facing kidnapping, burglary and assault charges after driving to Federal Way in an elaborate plan to abduct a cousin's 7-month-old baby.

komonews.com

 

[scotchandcigar]

Dumb: Posing as an Amazon driver. Dumber: posing as an Amazon driver to kidnap a child. Dumbest: Traveling more than 3,100 miles to do it.

Florida couple kidnaps cousin's baby in Federal Way after posing as Amazon driver

A Florida couple is facing kidnapping, burglary and assault charges after driving to Federal Way in an elaborate plan to abduct a cousin's 7-month-old baby.

komonews.com

I thought I had long-ago posted about the following (similar) story, but I can't find it. Here's the short version.

In 1996 or so, a Vietnamese coworker of mine was found shot dead in his car, in the parking lot of my workplace in Mass. The perpetrator was the brother-in-law (wife's brother), who worked at Hughes defense systems (who we later merged with) in El Segundo CA. He drove cross-country, shot my coworker through the windows while he was sitting in the car (gangland-style), then proceeded to drive all the way home to California. When investigators searched his home, they found the murder weapon, which he had kept with him for the entire ride home.

 

[scotchandcigar]

Holy, holy, holy fukkkkk! I hope this posts properly. The murderer got paroled in 2016. This is the report of the parole board. I got one detail wrong: the shooter was the brother of my coworker's sister-in-law, not wife.

https://www.mass.gov/doc/khai-le-life-sentence-decision-1/download