As for experiences lighting things on fire, that sounds a lot like they way I'd start a post. Wouldn't expect that from you Scotch. Haha.
Story 1: A short time before we sold our NH house, we had an incident. At the front of the garage, between the cars, we kept one of those plastic kitchen trash containers; except it was full of the cold ashes from our wood stove. Whenever we got ready to start the stove, we'd get rid of the old ashes - usually off in the woods. But in the middle of winter, we're not going to walk over several feet of snow to get to the woods, so we'd dump it there.
Sometimes, in the winter, Mrs. Scotch would have her daily smoke in the garage, and drop the butt into the ash bin. One night, we were awoken by the smoke alarm, and we could immediately tell something was filling the house with smoke. I went into the basement to look for the source, but it wasn't coming from there. When I opened the door to the garage, I saw fire and plumes of smoke. We called the fire department. I thought one of the cars was on fire, but it turned out to be the plastic bin we were using for ashes. The cigarette had ignited some firewood remains that were in the ashes, and once it got going, it burned the trash bin down to the ground, along with part of a shop-vac. Lesson learned.
Story 2: A long long time ago (during the Reagan era) a bunch of us were in the front yard of my first NH house, on the 4th of July. One guy brought some bottle rockets. They'd go way up, and then we never saw where they landed. No problem, right? Well, we're enjoying the evening, when the top of one of those overgrown shrubs - that you never thought was gonna get that big and was too close to the house - is on fire. One of the bottle rockets landed on the roof, and rolled down into the shrub. At that point, it was a contest to see who could make the dumbest response to the events that were unfolding. I tried to use the hose, which was attached to the spigot on the side of the house, but it didn't reach. Another guy went all the way to the other end of the house, and started moving cars from the driveway - to make way for the fire truck. Except that firemen don't park in one's driveway and ring the doorbell. They just drive over the freakin' lawn and
get to the fire! Finally, the guy who had launched the bottle rocket went into the kitchen, grabbed the giant lobster pot full of water, and doused the fire. All the vinyl siding around the shrub had melted. And BTW, shooting-off fireworks is illegal in NH.