Jokes! Jokes! Jokes!

[Channel98]

Don and Julie are driving to Disney World for a vacation. On the way through Louisiana, they see a sign that says "Natchitoches city limits." They start arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city. They decide to stop there for lunch. While they're ordering their food, Don asks the teenager behind the counter, "Can you tell us where we are? And pronounce it very slowly." The boy says, "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiinnnnggg."

 

[sadchild]

Voting is like driving a car. Choose "D" to move forward. Choose "R" to move backward.

Note: I'm not Democrat or Republican. Just thought this was clever and funny. I would've posted it if it were the opposite and it made D bad and R good.

 

[HecticArt]

Sounds like my friends describing Fords.

One says "First On Race Day!"

The other says "Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge!"

 

[Channel98]

I had a Falcon, a Comet, a Pinto and an Escort. I speak from experience when I say FORD means "Fix Or Repair Daily."

Did you hear about the sword swallower whose doctor put him on a weight-loss diet? He's been on pins and needles ever since.

 

[HecticArt]

I had a Falcon, a Comet, a Pinto and an Escort. I speak from experience when I say FORD means "Fix Or Repair Daily."

Knock on wood, mine have been very reliable.
I bought it in 2011 and have only had it in the shop for minor repairs a couple of times.

 

[Channel98]

A Los Angeles man is in critical condition after being shot by someone with a starter pistol. Police think the shooting is race-related.

 

[sadchild]

Sounds like my friends describing Fords.

One says "First On Race Day!"

The other says "Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge!"

I've heard a few of these ones.

"Fix Or Repair Daily."

That's one.

There's also "Fucked On Race Day" and "Found On Road Dead"

Here's a bunch of them, most new to me

https://www.allacronyms.com/FORD/joke

 

[JHDK]

In true Jackie Martling style.......

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

 

[Channel98]

There used to be two of them. Do I win a prize?

Seeking a new thrill, a woman decided to have sex with a man who had never been with a woman. Her search took her to the Austrailian outback where she discovered a man who had lived alone for 30 years. She took him back to her hotel room. He looked around and said, "This room isn't big enough." "It seems big enough to me," the woman told him. The man replied, "I never slept with a woman but if it's anything like sleeping with a kangaroo, we'll need more room than this!"