Artie's most overused phrases...

[Davis]

I used to listen in his initial days with Howard. Does he still mention TWINKIES?

No, it then went to devil dogs but even that has gone away. I don't think he has mentioned them (devil dogs) much since his roast (the giant devil dog).

By the way, if you ever have another devil dog, do yourself a favor and put it in the freezer first.

 

[k9feces]

What would Artie do for a Klondike bar?

 

[Ifandorbut]

What would Artie do for a Klondike bar?

Not only should that question be asked and answered, but I'd like to know, "What would Robin do for a Dyke Bar?"

 

[ProperModulation]

What would Artie do for a Klondike bar?

He'd pay JD or Teddy $1000 to go to the store and get him one since he's way too lazy to do it himself and he enjoys throwing around money like he's Trump.

 

[VinnyM27]

How about "My Uncle Tony..." often followed by him saying something racist.

 

[JHDK]

"i dont mean to CROWBAR this in but..."

-jhdk

 

[VinnyM27]

Right after the news is finished:

"Howard..."
And you know that plug is coming!

 

[electricpotato]

"Completely Ossified"

I don't have the time at the moment to read through all these posts so forgive me if this has already been stated.
A variation on "completely ossified" is "ossified drunk."
I've heard Artie say it numerous times.

 

[AJ_II]

Right after the news is finished:

"Howard..."
And you know that plug is coming!

Haha, that's a good one! Always accompanied by the Jackie Gleason background music, courtesy of Fred.

 

[Davis]

I've never noticed the background music. I will have to try to listen for it tomorrow.

 

[Ifandorbut]

Right after the news is finished:

"Howard..."
And you know that plug is coming!

Yes, but right after "Howard" and right before the plug is the obligatory and dishonest, "sorry, man.."

 

[Davis]

I'm sure he feels bad for doing it but he knows that it will help him out.

 

[Bark]

I prefer what Jackie did: when the plugs came up, just laugh as Howard reads them.

 

[Davis]

Oh wow, he actually asked to cue the Jackie Music today. It was almost like he read this thread.

 

[NBACha]

if I had a nickel for every time I heard Artie say "douche-chills" I could retire.

I can't say I have ever heard this. I listen all the time too!

 

[MfBrooklyn]

what happened to cunt,hahaha

 

[Ifandorbut]

what happened to cunt,hahaha

I think the full quote is, "swing like a cunt".

 

[MerchantMilan]

I think the full quote is, "swing like a cunt".

Hahaha...I laugh at that every time because Artie said he was like 8 years old when his Dad said that to him.

I can't think of any particular word at the moment, but Artie will come out with these 3 or 4 syllable words that make him sounds like an intellectual, but then he'll use that word repeatedly for a few days. It has happened a several times.

One thing that really bugs me about the whole staff is when they say "could care less." It's "couldn't care less." You'd think at least Howard would know that since he can be a grammar nazi at times.

 

[Ifandorbut]

There are two that I hate:

"Hey, RETARD!!!"

and

MI----STAH CROWLEY!!!!