Adventures In Koopland

IdRatherBeSkiing said:
Were you a mean drunk?
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No, that's the thing, when I'm drunk I'm even sweeter than normal...and I'm super sweet to this girl, you should see all the nice shit I do for her. I think she's worried that I'm going to be an alcoholic. I've told her about my other substance issues and I guess seeing me super drunk was worrisome to her.
 
JHDK said:
No, that's the thing, when I'm drunk I'm even sweeter than normal...and I'm super sweet to this girl, you should see all the nice shit I do for her. I think she's worried that I'm going to be an alcoholic. I've told her about my other substance issues and I guess seeing me super drunk was worrisome to her.
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Well as long as you don't wind up pantsless in a gutter somewhere there is probably nothing to worry about. But it might be worth cutting back for a bit if she is nervous about it.
 
IdRatherBeSkiing said:
But it might be worth cutting back for a bit if she is nervous about it.
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Bingo. I know I have the DUI and all that, that I've talked about around here but booze really isn't my problem...I've had much bigger addiction issues that I've managed to get past. If it's an issue for her I can just not do it. Problem is I'm not sure she believes that. Guess I'll just have to prove it over time.

Also I've been helping her with her virtual assistant gig and I didn't do that yesterday or today cause I was on a bender. Pretty sure she's not happy about that.

Thing is, I had no idea this was an issue for her. If I knew I simply wouldn't have done it and saved myself all this trouble.

Another thing that bothers me...and oh boy did I get in trouble when I mentioned it...is that I sometimes feel like I'm more into her than she is into me. She has mentioned big plans for the future but it sometimes seems like those plans could be with me or anyone else.
 
My wife had issue when we were getting married about my drinking. I only did something like 2-4 a week. But her first husband was an alcoholic. This was an issue. I cut back. Now she drinks more than me and it is no longer an issue (time heals all). But when it was an issue, it had to be dealt with.

Be glad she has chosen to do them with you. And maybe slow it down a little bit. She may be feeling a bit suffocated.

And the honeymoon may be over. You guys are working together and seeing each other outside of work. You may be starting to get on each others nerves. It happens and is natural which is why most people don't work with the person they are dating.

</unsolicited advice>
 
As for helping her with her virtual assistant thing, when she's gotten used to being able to rely on you for the help, and you don't, it lets her down.
Your office is experienced with covering for people when they call off. She isn't.
 
HecticArt said:
As for helping her with her virtual assistant thing, when she's gotten used to being able to rely on you for the help, and you don't, it lets her down.
Your office is experienced with covering for people when they call off. She isn't.
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Really good call that I didn't think about. I was thinking she should be happy that I'm doing all this free work for her, not that I'm an asset to the company whose couple day loss is felt.

 
you guys want to see some shit...well here you go.

Any advice would be appreciated.


Images deleted by Admin to remove phone number.
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Fuck me. I'm coming off pathetic here.
 
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Reading that shit back make me think I shouldn't have posted it.

This whole relationship has played out her on DRC. For better or worse you guys are in this with me.
 
I find it interesting that you're sharing to this level now, but with your last relationship, I didn't know it existed.

As a casual observer, I'd say that both of you would benefit from you taking a step back. It would show her you have some self control, and can consider someone other than yourself. And it would be an opportunity for you to calm your feelings.

I'm thinking that she'd respect you more, and give her time to realize she misses you. But what do I know?
 
Re-read what she said, then reread it again. Keep in mind that women do not speak English. It may look like English and sound like English but it is not English. The thing that struck me was the "Like what". If her issue is your drinking you have a choice to make.

Also, have you ever told her you love her? Has she responded with the same? Or was the first time this has come up is this exchange? If so, you have just made the situation 1000 times worse. Because now she has taken that shadow of a doubt and will over-analyse it to determine if she loves you and you are the one. If you have already exchanged those words then its not that big a deal.

But, in any case, I think scotch is right. You need to give her the time. I also think you need to take inventory of your emotions. At this point the worst thing you can do is pressure her or be overly clingy. And for got sake, when the time is right, make the rest of this discussion face to face or at least over the phone.
 
Been married so long, we didn't have text messages back when we were dating. I can see how communicating that way on a serious topic can be tricky.

Hope you get positive conversation soon.
 
Scotch and IRBS make great points.
Give yourselves a chance to catch your breath.

Step back a bit. Suggest that you get together in a few days or so for coffee or dinner. Don't let it turn into a sleep-over. If it goes well, do it again in a few days or so.
If you're seriously into her, figure out why. Then figure out why you decided to go on a drunken binge. Then figure out how likely you are to seriously do it again.
Don't just tell her what you think she want's to hear.

Like IRBS said, don't push her to commit to taking the relationship deeper.

Don't post texts with her real name on the forum.
 
HecticArt said:
Scotch and IRBS make great points.
Give yourselves a chance to catch your breath.

Step back a bit. Suggest that you get together in a few days or so for coffee or dinner. Don't let it turn into a sleep-over. If it goes well, do it again in a few days or so.
If you're seriously into her, figure out why. Then figure out why you decided to go on a drunken binge. Then figure out how likely you are to seriously do it again.
Don't just tell her what you think she want's to hear.

Like IRBS said, don't push her to commit to taking the relationship deeper.

Don't post texts with her real name on the forum.
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And phone number. I would delete those if you can. If you can't ask Hectic and he can.
 
JHDK said:
im not used to new. the last one went on forever. I think the living with my dad for the better part of a year plays a bigger part than i may have initially thought/
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Good point. Spend some time focusing on taking care of Koop before you put all of your attention into taking care of someone else. It’s ok to do that.
 
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