Just got home from the hospital. Had to get 14 stitches total in 3 different body parts due to an overly aggressive but now dead dog. The little bastard sneaked up behind me, bit my calf. I didn't even know he was around. I turned and before I could react he bit my shin. I kicked him, hard and he ran back at me and grabbed my pants leg. I hit him on the head with my fedex scanner and he jumped up and grabbed my hand. I then grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and violently threw him at the brick wall of the house I was delivering a package to. He fell to the ground dead with a broken neck. Nasty little dachshound. Animal control, fedex upper management and my lawyer already involved. The dogs owner is threatening legal actions. Bring it on, as it's a fight they will lose. Never thought I'd have to claim the self defense issue against a dog. Animal control already has 3 past issues with this same dog on file so no worries on my part.
Total damage, 4 stitches in calf, 4 in shin, 6 in my right hand and one formerly aggressive dog now pushing up daisies.
Now i'm off to look for 4 bottles, 1 of advil, 1 of gin, 1 of vermouth and 1 of olives. It may be a 3 martinni night.