My Dad

Discussion in 'The Studio Lounge' started by Wolf, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. Wolf

    Wolf Manspreading on DRC

    I can't recall if I posted some information about my dad or not, but for the past few years. My dad was down to one kidney and diagnosed with bone cancer, unfortunately there isn't a cure for it. The doctors gave him about a year to live, but that was like 2 years ago. But lately now his symptoms has change and have become worst, when he started receiving kemo. But a few weeks later, he stop receiving kemo and was in a hospital for the past month and last night he decided, he got tired of being poked and being in pain. So he decided to give up and wanted to go to a hospice, which my family and I wasn't in favor of. But now my family life has change and unfortunately the doctor said, he gives my farther about two weeks to a month to live. So that some information about my dad, so for now my family and I will be by his side, until he passes away.
    semipenguin and HecticArt like this.
  2. jef

    jef Power Pig, Hello!

    Don't think of it as giving up. Your Dad has chosen to take on death on his own terms, and that's pretty courageous. I don't know the man but admire him for that. Be glad for - and enjoy - the time that you have left together. I'd give anything to have had a chance to say a real goodbye to my Dad, other than as a "Talk to you later" at the end of a phone call 2 days before he died.

    Hang in there, WV!
    Wolf likes this.
  3. HecticArt

    HecticArt Administrator

    I feel for ya Wolf.

    My dad had Alzheimer's and Lou Gehrig's disease.
    He had a mild stroke that caused the Alzheimer's. That was beginning to build up when they diagnosed the Gehrig's. The whole process took about a year and a half maybe.
    Either one by itself would have gotten really nasty, and gone on for a very long time. But together, they kind of took him more quickly. It was a really odd blessing of sorts that saved him some suffering. He passed away about 4 years ago. We were all with him when it happened. I was looking him in the eyes when he took his last breath. I'll never forget it, and I'm glad I was able to be there with him.

    His last couple of months were in hospice. That was the other blessing. Hospice is a really great service. It will give your dad the dignity that he deserves, and take a lot of the burden away from your family. You'll be able to spend more time with him, instead of all of your time just trying to take care of him. They do a good job of explaining what's going on, and what to expect.

    It's going to hurt like crazy, but it's going to mean a lot to him that you're there for him.
    Wolf likes this.
  4. Calypso

    Calypso Queen Calypso

    I am sorry to hear this wolf. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad and your whole family. Please keep us updated and come talk as much as you want, sometimes it is good to have a place to vent and we are all here to lend our ears.

    We are all here for you buddy....
    Wolf likes this.
  5. memebag

    memebag Top Brass, ADVP

    That sucks, Wolfie.

    If I get a choice between a quick exit and a slow one, I'm picking the quick one. And if my family tries to stop me I might take them with me.
    Wolf likes this.
  6. kingchuck69

    kingchuck69 Joker! Joker! Joker!

    Sorry to hear about your fathers, everybody. My father, 60, still smokes like a chimney. It's only time he'll get lung cancer. :(
    Wolf likes this.
  7. MadisonRadio1

    MadisonRadio1 MadisonRadio

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, WolfViper.
    I feel bad for you.
    Wolf likes this.
  8. sbv71

    sbv71 Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry to hear about your father WolfViper. I will certainly keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers. Hang in there. Stay strong.
    Wolf likes this.
  9. IdRatherBeSkiing

    IdRatherBeSkiing This space for rent

    I will add you and your dad to my prayers, Wolf.

    I would suggest that you and other family work out a schedule and rotate so someone is always with him. When my wife's grandmother reached that final week that's what the family did. I got the job of hospital shuttle driver dropping one off and then picking up the previous. But someone was with her every hour on every day for her final week. Even though she was not conscious for most of it I think she felt better knowing someone was with her at all times. It would be physically impossible for you to be there alone 100% of the time.
    Wolf likes this.
  10. MAJ Badmotherfarker

    MAJ Badmotherfarker is drinking a beer.

    Just went through this with my brother last month. Got a text from my mom that he was in the hospital, follow up text said simply "terminal". I flew out to CA and sat next to him while he breathed his last. It's tough stuff, and nothing will ever make it easier. Tell you what though - things like this message board really help. Sometimes you don't want to talk about anything - sometimes you just want to sit and feel or not feel - and being able to come here and read the idiocy that we all post makes things feel "normal" again.
    Wolf likes this.
  11. limegrass69

    limegrass69 Confused

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Wolf.
    Wolf likes this.
  12. goreds2

    goreds2 Well-Known Member

    Very well said.
    Wolf likes this.
  13. Casual Fan

    Casual Fan Surprisingly nice

    Wolf, I knew your dad was sick and I'm sorry to hear his time to go may be drawing near.

    You need anything, you holler at me. Hang in there, be tough and I'll be praying for you all, brother.
    Wolf likes this.
  14. MAJ Badmotherfarker

    MAJ Badmotherfarker is drinking a beer.

    I'm going to speak totally out of line, but I'll say a fact and you can call me if not. END IT NOW. If your dad requests hospice, end it. Call me and I'll tell you what we did with my brother. Message sent
  15. Wolf

    Wolf Manspreading on DRC

    Thank you very much everybody! My family and I spent several hours with him today, he looked pretty good today, not much in pain and quite of few of his friends came by as well. I will spend quite a bit of quality time with my dad until the end. My mom, will be there everyday and I plan of visiting him pretty much every night after work.

    I got your pm BMF, I believe he doesn't want to end it now. Just slowly, but he taking quite a bit of pain pills for his leg and back.
    Calypso likes this.
  16. MAJ Badmotherfarker

    MAJ Badmotherfarker is drinking a beer.

    That's good. But please be mindful of what your dad wants. Families will sometimes keep somebody alive, even though they're in pain and miserable, for selfish reasons. Letting go is hard, but it's better to let a person go with dignity because death gets ugly towards the end.
  17. AJ_II

    AJ_II Well-Known Member

    Wolf, you're the man. Stay strong and enjoy these last moments you have with your father.
    Wolf likes this.
  18. TX WJ

    TX WJ Intelligent Donkey

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Its hard to see someone you love waste away. Make sure he knows how you feel.

    I lost my dad to leukemia when I was a senior in high school. He was 44. I remember the Friday that he told my mom that he wanted to go back to the hospital, so she called the Dr. and they sent a ambulance to transport him. Later he told me that he was ready to go and did not want my mom to find him. He passed Monday am, I was in 1st period class when they came over the loud speaker and told me to come to the office.

    There isn't a day goes by that I don't think about my dad. My dad knew that I loved him and I know that he loved me too. That is a huge source of comfort to me. So many people never get the chance to tell the people they love what they think of them.
    Wolf and IdRatherBeSkiing like this.
  19. MAJ Badmotherfarker

    MAJ Badmotherfarker is drinking a beer.

    Those are definitely moments that you never forget - and it's important to get them right. When my brother was about to go, my mom said, "he only gets to do this once". That line has stuck with me.
  20. Calypso

    Calypso Queen Calypso

    I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. I can't imagine losing my Dad at such a young age.

    I am also sorry for the loss of your brother. It is so hard to lose the ones we love.

    I pray you both look back at nothing but the good memories you made...

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