Channel 9: Show 10


Well-Known Member
Oct 12, 2008
The tenth Channel 9 Show opened up with a blinding white light. No images could be seen for nearly 30 seconds, but the distinct voices of Howard(as Elvis Presley)and Robin could be heard as they talked about doing battle with the dry ice that engulfed Howard.
Here's an image of Howard as the dry ice was waved away.

Howard asked, "Where am I?"

Robin answered, "I thought you were in heaven, it's Channel 9".

Howard collected himself after he ate a bunch of junk food. He then began to sing 'Blue Suede Shoes', but he couldn't remember the words..."Well it's one for the money....Two for the money....Three for the money....wait a second, what are the words?....I always did everything for the money".


Howard talked about why his name was always "Deke" in every movie he made. There were lots of food jokes and Elvis spent a lot of time butchering the names of his wife and daughter.

Howard looking a lot like Dice Elvis.

Howard broke character but came back in time to finish off another line or two of 'Blue Suede Shoes'. This time he sang, "Lay off of mah food".

Once Howard finished the Elvis bit he decided to take off his Elvis wig. Here was his reaction to seeing himself on the monitor.

He thought he looked like Reverand Al Sharpton waiting for his hair due to kick in. I think he looks like Mike Nesmith from the Monkees.

Howard said that they had a great tape of Stuttering John getting punched by Morton Downey, Jr.
This was the freeze frame tease they used when they went to commercial. I thought it was hilarious, so here it is.


Well-Known Member
Oct 12, 2008
When they got back from the commercial break Howard made a half-hearted plea for people to watch his show so that they could keep doing it. He then made an immediate plea for Gary to hide his teeth.

Gary asked Howard, "If I just kept my mouth closed...."

Howard interrupted Gary's idea, "It's impossible, those huge graveyard tombstones in your mouth show through".


Here was the solution...


After dealing with Gary, Howard went straight to describing the second anniversary party that Morton Downey Jr's. wife set up. Howard thought it was strange that Morton could file for bankruptcy and still have enough money to pay for such a lavish party.

Howard got through about twenty seconds of the tape when he noticed Robin's ear.

Stuttering John found Robin's earring to be hilarious.

Robin soon followed John's laughing fit. Howard said, "I think we're all screaming out to be noticed".

Howard stopped the tape again because he was running late and he had to do a Brother P Touch commercial. For this commercial Howard brought back the man that played the Pan Flute from one of the first shows. This time the man played a regular flute. Howard remarked that "it wasn't a flute, it was the wind whistling through Gary's teeth."

Here you can see Howard's typing skills.

Here's a list Howard made to highlight Robin's dating file.

After the commercial Howard went over to the man to show him how to play a flute.


Well-Known Member
Oct 12, 2008
Then Howard got down to business. Here Morton tells John to "blow your ass outta here".

Morton said Howard was a "big schmucky-muck" and that he has "the brains of an amoeba".

He said that Howard could "suck my earlobe, punk".

At this point Morton became over heated by John's presence. Morton pushed John's mic and John warned Morton to watch it. Morton got close to John as if to intensify his position.

John told Morton to not spit on him. Morton said that he sometimes spits when he talks and that if he didn't like it he could "do something about it". Morton warned John that he could take care of himself. John countered by saying, "at least I money in my bank account". But this barb went unnoticed because a friend of Morton's dropped by the table. Here you can see Morton switch gears from 100 mph forward to 100 mph in reverse.


Well-Known Member
Oct 12, 2008
Howard had to do a Snapple commercial before continuing the Morton Downey Jr. tape. Once he finished the commercial Howard got back to playing the tape. John asked Morton if he needed the money would he mind if his wife would dance for a living? Here you can see Morton grabbing John's questions.

And here you can see the same guy that yelled at John when he was interviewing Michael Musto from the week before...both Morton and his friend still had their cigarettes in their mouths while attacking John.

John had to be separated from Morton.

The end result was that Morton stepped on John's tape machine and broke it, but Howard still had incredible video with audio from the camera. John wanted to know if they were still getting all of this on camera.

After the tape ended they went to commercial. Coming back from the break Howard did a plug for his "Crucified by the FCC" tape.

After the promotion Howard replayed the Stuttering John interview with Judy Carne. He replayed the interview because he had Judy in the studio to explain herself and why she was so mad with John for interviewing her the way he did.

Judy was basically covering her ass while letting the immigration offices know that she's clean and sober...even though the Stuttering John interview took place in a bar.
Judy didn't want to talk about screwing Burt Reynolds. Judy talked about her difficulties in trying to stay in the states.


Well-Known Member
Oct 12, 2008
Coming back from the commercial break Howard made fun of Robin's ear again.

Howard had Robin get into the news.

Robin showed video of people on the street talking about getting a Mayor that will help them get off the streets. The video ended up showing the people fighting one another for mic time.

Robin talked about Larry King's remarks about Miss Pennsylvania looking like a pig.
Here's a pre-suspender Larry King talking about Miss America.

Here's the woman who was termed a pig.

Here's the woman that won the contest.

Howard said Gary was a better choice for Miss America.

Robin talked about Darryl Strawberry's penchant for having words shaved into his head. Howard wondered why people don't carve the Batman logo into their head anymore.

Howard realized they were out of time, so the show kind of ended abruptly.