Anyone know or hear any NASCAR jokes? Post some. Don't take them personal people! Here are some I found......
It's the Super Bowl of Motorsports, the Daytona 500, I go to my seat...way up to the top of Sprint Tower. There is a lone gentleman sitting one seat away with an empty seat in between. The race is well underway, and I comment to the gentleman in regards to this empty seat, "imagine missing a race like this, and how much they may have paid for that unused ticket". He explained that was his wife of 30 years seat, and that she had passed away. I, of course, felt terrible, gave my condolences and asked him why he did not give it to a friend or family member, he said..."They're all at her funeral".
A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him and said "Hey little boy, what are you doing?" The little boy replied "I'm running away from home." The cop asked him "Why are you doing that?" The little boy replied "Because my dad beats me." The cop says "Oh, well get in the car and I will take you to your mothers." And the little boy says "No, No! She beats me too!" The cop says "Do you have an uncle?" "Yes but he beats me too", replied the little boy. And the cop says "Get in the car and I'll take you to your grandmother's then." The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandmother beats me also." The cop says "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can take you where nobody will beat you?" And the little boy says "Take me to live with Dale Earnhardt JR. because he can't beat anybody."
Jeff Gordon is out jogging. He slips on a damp bridge, hits his head, and falls into an icy river. Three kids see it happen and jump into to save him. When he comes to, he says, "Boys, you saved Jeff Gordon. You each deserve a reward. You name it, and I'll give it to you." The first kid says, "I'd like a ticket to Disney World." Gordon says, "I'll take care of it personally." The second boys says, "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbo's." Gordon says, "I'll take care of that myself." The third kid says, "I'd like a wheelchair with a built in stereo." Gordon says, "I'll personally.....Wait a second, you're not handicapped." The kid says, I will be when my father finds out who I saved from drowning!!!!!"
A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Jeff Gordon is doing. The bartender says.."Gordon is in 25th". The dog jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times. A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Gordon is up to 10th". The dog jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says "Gordon is up to 3rd", after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times. The bartender says "WOW!!!! That dog is amazing!! What does he do if Gordon wins???" "I don't Know", says the man, "I've only had him a little over a year!!!"
It's the Super Bowl of Motorsports, the Daytona 500, I go to my seat...way up to the top of Sprint Tower. There is a lone gentleman sitting one seat away with an empty seat in between. The race is well underway, and I comment to the gentleman in regards to this empty seat, "imagine missing a race like this, and how much they may have paid for that unused ticket". He explained that was his wife of 30 years seat, and that she had passed away. I, of course, felt terrible, gave my condolences and asked him why he did not give it to a friend or family member, he said..."They're all at her funeral".
A little boy ran away from home and a cop saw him and said "Hey little boy, what are you doing?" The little boy replied "I'm running away from home." The cop asked him "Why are you doing that?" The little boy replied "Because my dad beats me." The cop says "Oh, well get in the car and I will take you to your mothers." And the little boy says "No, No! She beats me too!" The cop says "Do you have an uncle?" "Yes but he beats me too", replied the little boy. And the cop says "Get in the car and I'll take you to your grandmother's then." The little boy says "No, no, no! My grandmother beats me also." The cop says "Well little boy, is there anywhere I can take you where nobody will beat you?" And the little boy says "Take me to live with Dale Earnhardt JR. because he can't beat anybody."
Jeff Gordon is out jogging. He slips on a damp bridge, hits his head, and falls into an icy river. Three kids see it happen and jump into to save him. When he comes to, he says, "Boys, you saved Jeff Gordon. You each deserve a reward. You name it, and I'll give it to you." The first kid says, "I'd like a ticket to Disney World." Gordon says, "I'll take care of it personally." The second boys says, "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbo's." Gordon says, "I'll take care of that myself." The third kid says, "I'd like a wheelchair with a built in stereo." Gordon says, "I'll personally.....Wait a second, you're not handicapped." The kid says, I will be when my father finds out who I saved from drowning!!!!!"
A man walks into a bar with his dog. A Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Jeff Gordon is doing. The bartender says.."Gordon is in 25th". The dog jumps up, and runs around the barstool 25 times. A couple of laps later, the bartender says "Gordon is up to 10th". The dog jumps up again and runs around the barstool 10 times. A few laps later, the bartender says "Gordon is up to 3rd", after which the dog again jumps up and runs around the barstool 3 times. The bartender says "WOW!!!! That dog is amazing!! What does he do if Gordon wins???" "I don't Know", says the man, "I've only had him a little over a year!!!"
