A Howard Stern Madlib?"


Molon Labe!
Oct 16, 2008
Western, PA
Since there are a LOT of complaint threads on this board that really just repeat themselves, I thought I would create one that anyone can use on any given day. This is like a Madlib complaint thread for the Stern show. I've broken it down hour by hour. Please note, I still love the Stern show and RARELY complain about it and really I'm just tired of the constant bitching about the show that gives us so much entertainment. Hopefully this will cut down on the number of threads that just endlessly complain about the show by supposed fans and haters that still listen for 4.5 hours per day.

You will see a ___________ then followed by a few choices in parantheses that should fit most complaints---feel free to add your own. Also feel free to print and enjoy.

this is written from a first person perspective as if a person is talking out loud and bitching about the show.

6am hour:

God, when the show started of course Howard started talking about _____________ (weekend event, Beth-O, his Letterman appearance, etc) again and man does that get old. You've covered it Howard--we get it. Then, naturally _____________ (eric the midget, Double AA, any wackpacker, Eric from Hoboken) called into the show and once again started talking about ___________(nothing, Howard TV, how hot Beth O is, etc). Ugh, I hate that guy---he is so annoying and I don't know why Howard keeps him on the line or even takes his calls anymore. The show would be so better without him.
Gee, what a surprise, Artie isn't here--that guy never works, he probably is on _____________ (drug of choice) or is just too tired from his weekend ____________ (event). I don't know why Howard keeps him around either ___________ (Jackie, Billy West, any former show member) was so much better on the show. All Artie can do is that stupid ____________(voice, FIIIRREE, redneck accent, fall asleep) bit that really just isn't funny anymore.

7am hour:

Back from break. Is it just me or are these breaks getting ______________ (longe, shorter) and why are all the sponsors _____________ (beer, porn, ashley madison, klondike)? Back in the day Howard used to ________________ (get better sponsors, have shorter breaks, have longer breaks) but certianly not anymore. Oh great, Howard just promo'd ____________ (howard TV, contest, north shore animal league) AGAIN. Is this all he can talk about?????? I hate it when he talks about this. Aren't we going to have any guests today? Howard never gets good guests anymore. He always makes fun of ___________ (Leno, Seacrest, Corolla, Access Hollywood) but at least they get good guests. Since moving to SIRIUS, Howard only gets B and C listers like ____________ (Kathy Griffin, Tracey Morgan, Hulk Hogan). Clearly his show doesn't have the reach that it used to. Oh god, now they are talking about ___________ (wrap up show, gary's screw up, Ronnie the Limo Drivers Screw up, Scott The Engineers screw up, JD). I hate this guy too. He always comes in the studio acting like such an idiot and is just really arrogant and comes off so bad. Howard should have fired him long ago. Big Surprise, here comes _____________ (Richard, Sal, Richard and Sal, Gary, JD, Scott DePace) to add more __________(fuel to the fire, gayness, stupid comment). It seems like this whole show is just centered around this now. So stale.

8am hour:

How annoying, Now we have GUESTS---I hate it when Howard has guests. His best shows are when they're all just sitting around--guests suck. Once again ______________ (John Stamos, Tracy Morgan, Hogan, Bob Levy, Joan Rivers) is doing the show. I've never like this person since Howard came to Sirius. They used to really mix it up back in the day. Remember that one time when Howard and ___________ (guest) did that phony phone call where they called that _________ (place, person) and did that _______ (bit, funny voice)????? Man, Howard just doesn't do that anymore. He has gotten too old.
Well, that guest sucked. Howard really didn't ask any hard questions and Robin just kept chiming in. I hate it when Robin _____________ (laughs, interupts Howard, talks). She always does that, especially now that she has gotten thin.

9am hour:

Only three hours in and Howard keeps trying to blow through the show. He hardly even touched on _____________ (show related event) and is trying to get to Robins news. More _____________ (gay stuff from Sal and Richard, Bob Levy, North Shore Animal League) talk. I feel like that is all the show is anymore. Now _________(wack packer, Beth-O, Dominic Barbara, Howard's Parents) are on the phone. They always call in and then Howard goes off on how he wasn't _________ (loved, respected, out too late) and how this makes him __________ (have issues, tired, bored). MOVE ON HOWARD!!!!!!

10am hour:

Why is Howard cutting off ____________ (artie, robin) during the ___________(story, news). I swear, he just wants to get out of there earlier and earlier everyday. And forget about him _____________(reducing his vacation, working on Fridays)----that will never happen. I'm really considering _________(cancelling, calling Sirius, emailing the show) just to let them know how I feel. I used to ___________(listen all the time, listen to Howard on WNBC, record the show) but now I just feel that it _____________(isn't funny, was better years ago, got worse after coming to Sirius, was better in 2007).
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