This episode started off with Billy West dressed as George Bush. Off camera Billy's voice as Barbara Bush tells George to take it easy, he's on vacation. George says he would be taking it easy if it weren't for this guy(Billy is holding an 8x10 picture in his hand). George says this guy is getting away with murder over there. He says the man is absolute scum and he's trying to make deals with him. Barbara responds back that she also hates Saddam Hussein. George replies back that he's not talking about Hussein, he's talking about this guy... After the opening both Howard and Robin were in a makeshift hostage scene. Howard had a toy gun in one hand and a little boy in his other hand. He was taking hostages in order to get ratings. Robin asked him what his demands were and Howard said, "I JUST DEMAND THAT YOU WATCH THE SHOW!!!!" He also said that he was going to cut off the fingers of this boy. There was a real look of concern from the boy after the remark. Here you can see the boy looking over to his mother who was sitting off camera next to Robin. Not only was Howard going to cut off the fingers of the little boy, but he was also growing his own toenail in protest over the "whole Iraq situation". Howard then introduced the harp player that would be playing throughout the show during the commercial reads. Howard went over the rundown of tonights show. He talked about Stuttering John's upcoming interview with Melanie Griffith. Howard was describing with his hands how endowed Melanie is and then he quickly switched gears and put Robin on the spot by talking about how lovely her cans looked tonight. Howard also mentioned that due to the public outcry, Gary would be wearing a bee keeper mask all evening. Howard thought it might have been easier to not let Gary be on camera all together.
Howard said he was really excited to bring out Gilbert Dice Gottfried for the first time anywhere. Howard said that Gilbert Dice Gottfried really looks like a smoker. Howard wondered if Gilbert was old enough to smoke. Gilbert was very animated, he didn't stay still his entire time in the studio. Howard said that just watching him was funny. Gilbert didn't say a word for nearly two minutes, he just smoked like a maniac. Finally Howard got Gilbert Dice Clay to speak, Howard started the Dice-a-rollin' by saying, "Hickory Dickory Dock..." Here's Gilbert Dice Clay's patented exclamation to a joke, or a non-joke..."AOOooowWWWww!!!!". And of course after the exclamation, its back to smoking. Here's a link to part one of the Gilbert Dice Clay interview. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsXf8LODUTc[/ame]
After the Gilbert Dice Clay interview had run its course, Howard played a filmed bit of the "David Dinkins School of Speech". The piece started off with Ted the Janitor exclaiming that the David Dinkins School of Speech has helped such notables as 'O.J. Simpson, Bryant Gumbo, and Sinbad'. Fred played a teacher. Here you can see him teaching people to say 'Birthday', not 'Birfday'. Billy played David Dinkins promoting his school of speech by showing how the school was able to help him by playing a before and after tape of himself. Here he is before the School of Speech. "I ain't payin no taxems or stipems" And here he is after. "My dear, dear auditor...it is with great regret that I misplaced my tax returns. However, my recompense is on your deks...I mean, desk. I swear on my wife's big buttocks." After the filmed bit Howard brought out New York comedian, Gay Jaffee Cohen. Gay Jaffee looked extremely nervous and was soft spoken throughout the entire interview. He spent most of his time spinning his head back and forth between Howard and Gilbert Dice Clay. When he wasn't gasping for air, he was fingering his ear. And when he wasn't fingering his ear, he was sweating profusely. The segment was a bust for the most part. Gilbert kind of ransacked the poor guy, he never stood a chance.
Howard said that before he brought out the Ramones, he wanted to show everybody what the Ramones have been up to lately. Howard showed a filmed segment of Billy West as George Bush playing golf with Joey and Marky Ramone. Someone asked George off camera why he was golfing with the Ramones in a time of war? The President answered back, "Because I'm a fan of the Blitzkrieg Bop". Joey asked the President, "Why are we here?" The President responded in kind, "Good question, Joey...Marky, DeeDee, Cubby". He needed their support in writing a song to get the U.S. soldiers wired. The Ramones parodied their own song, 'Pet Cemetery' and 'I Wanna Be Sedated'. They ended the scene with a golf swing. Here's a YouTube link to the bit. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOWBHmNZLy0[/ame]
Howard then brought out the Ramones. Howard interviewed each of them for a turn, but spent most of the time talking to Joey about his drinking problems. There was a little something made of the idea that both Joey and Howard were twins. One of the Ramones joked that Howard and Joey could do a Juicy Fruit ad, but that notion was soon corrected by another Ramone that said he meant to say they could do a "Doublemint" ad, not Juicy Fruit. Howard said that although he and Joey could pass as twins, he pointed out that his Joey's hairstyle was reminiscent of Cher before Sonny... And that his hair style was Cher....AFTER Sonny. After the Ramones segment Robin got to do her news. She started off with video of Saddam Hussein talking about taking hostages. Howard told Saddam to "learn to speak English" and he talked about growing his toenail in protest. Gilbert Dice called Saddam "A JERK...AND A HOMO..AAOOOOWWW!!!". Howard made some jokes about Gay Jaffee and then Robin kept up with the Iraq theme by showing video of George Bush on vacation while on the brink of war. Here he is golfing. Here he is fishing. Robin then said the President is getting really crazy. She showed Billy as the President along with obvious stock footage. Here he is doing a Triple Gainer into a pool. Here he is on the parallel bars pulling off a perfect landing. And here he is bungee jumping.
Robin then played a filmed 'man on the street' segment. The interviewer was Tom Groomes from Washington D.C.. Tom was asking people, along with homeless people if they would still vote for Marion Berry. After the news Howard brought out Stuttering John. John showed his interview with Melanie Griffith. The interview was lame. The funniest thing to come out of the interview was when John told Melanie, "I liked 'Working Girl'...great movie". Stuttering John hit up Richie Sambora at the Hard Rock Cafe. Richie didn't want to have much to do with John although he did hang in for a couple of minutes. Richie didn't really care for any of the questions, he looked like he would rather be having fun than answering these questions. Here you can see the four stages of Sambora as he slowly turns his head away from John as John creeps in for the kill.
Howard came back from the commercial break to present the Cowsills reunion. Howard started off the segment by saying, "Before this segment I wanted to strangle anyone from the Cowsills." Howard was trying to explain that he was frustrated in getting the Cowsills to sing their biggest hit, "Hair" for the reunion. As he was talking out his frustration one of Cowsills interrupted him, which of course sent him flying into another bout of rage, "I just wanna strangle one of you...any one of you". Howard wanted to do a parody of 'Hair' that dealt with the Iraq war. The Cowsills declined because they thought the lyrics were too violent. Howard said they could do 'Hair' and then do one of their boring new songs. The Cowsills had a different idea; they would do the boring song now and do 'Hair' afterwards. This made Howard and Robin upset. Here's Robin's reaction to being musically hijacked. After the song Howard held up the lyrics for one last time in hopes the Cowsills would reconsider, but they were not going to budge. The Cowsills ended the show singing 'Hair'...their version, not Howard's.
