Artie Takes a Nap

Why is artie sleeping during the show?

  • Bank on the junk

    Votes: 39 97.5%
  • Rolling Stone article has him bummed

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Out all night at one of the Obama Inagural Balls

    Votes: 1 2.5%

  • Total voters
    40

Snoozer

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2008
3,256
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Canada Eh!
Shitty. I was really hoping he'd kick it but it's pretty obvious he's using again. The signs are there.
 

Elwood

Member
Dec 3, 2008
215
11
18
It would have been funny to stop the show, give everyone else the afternoon off, lock up, shut off the lights, and just leave him there...
 

Die_LaMattres

Active Member
Oct 13, 2008
571
54
28
"Bank on the junk" still kinda makes sense.

In order to be "back on" anything, doesn't one have to "go off" first? Does anyone truly believe that not doing drugs for a few days means he's "off?". That's like smokers thinking they kick the habit each time they go to sleep for the night. Artie might not be doing heroin or pain pills currently, but he's on subutex - which Artie uses to "coast" in between heroin usage. Typical junkie/addict.
 
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Forevernever

Active Member
Dec 3, 2008
287
28
28
Why doesn't Artie just take a shit on the studio floor and then spit in Howard's face? He'd be making the same point.

Fuck this junkie. There's just no reason to keep him around. He's a mediocre talent. There are a lot of mediocre talents out there who could do his job, and more than a couple of really talented comics who would kill for his job and do it a whole lot better. I just don't get why they're keeping him around.

There's another reason to get rid of him. If he dies on Howard's watch, Howard's going to catch a whole lot of shit (and rightly so). If Howard fires him and something happens, its not Howard's problem, and he can say, "I did all I could". As long as the piece of shit is on the show, it will only end badly for all involved.

And then there's the school of thought that Artie's death and/or breakdown is exactly what Howard's waiting for, because he thinks it will make for great radio. If that's the case, then keep him.
 
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AJ_II

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2008
6,197
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Houston, TX
There are a lot of mediocre talents out there who could do his job, and more than a couple of really talented comics who would kill for his job and do it a whole lot better.


Like who?

I don't think Howard would want to go through all the work of incorporating a new in-studio "sidekick" at this point in his career. So if Artie were to leave, for whatever reason, I think it'd just be Howard and Robin for the remaining time on Howard's contract.
 

TheScionicMan

Last non-Hating Stern Fan
Oct 11, 2008
2,171
93
48
Like Bubba, some Artie is better than no Artie... I could tell he was missing after about a minute when I started listening during the news. There's dead air where a joke or two should be...

I hope he gets it together.
 

Forevernever

Active Member
Dec 3, 2008
287
28
28
Like who?

I don't think Howard would want to go through all the work of incorporating a new in-studio "sidekick" at this point in his career. So if Artie were to leave, for whatever reason, I think it'd just be Howard and Robin for the remaining time on Howard's contract.

I was watching that Jim Norton comedy special on HBO. Any of the guys he had on that night could do Artie's job with one hand tied behind their backs. If Howard doesn't want to get use to anyone new, bring back Jackie for the last two years of the show. Can you imagine how much fun that would be? All the drama? Sure beats listening to a group of people talking about another one sleeping.
 

limegrass69

Confused
Oct 12, 2008
6,079
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New York
Bringing Jackie back would make for some good radio. Not sure if either side would be up for that...although I bet Jackie would appreciate the steady income.
 

AJ_II

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2008
6,197
169
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Houston, TX
I doubt Howard would bring Jackie back. He's already been there, done that. When callers bring up old bits and ask Howard to bring them back, he always says that it's already been done, why bring it back? Something tells me he'd feel the same way about Jackie.

Besides, all this is moot anyway. Artie isn't going anywhere. If he was going to quit or be fired, it would have happened already. The only way Artie will not be on the show is if he keels over and dies. Which I suppose is quite possible.
 

Jgatie

Banned
Oct 14, 2008
1,402
49
48
As much as it would be great radio, Howard, Robin and (especially) Fred are all on record as saying they would never work with Jackie again. They've said this at Sirius, as well as on FM. From the sound of it, with as many problems Artie has, he's still considered a loyal team player. Jackie was anything but loyal or a team player, a fact that drips from Fred's comments like bitter bile every time Jackie's name comes up.

I don't know who puts Fred into "barely concealed hatred" mode quicker - Stuttering John or Jackie - but when discussing either, Fred's demeanor reminds me of my dad after I told him Roger Clemens is a Yankee (His exact quote was "He's fucking dead to me." Then he spit on the floor and never allowed Clemen's name to be mentioned in his house again. ;))
 

limegrass69

Confused
Oct 12, 2008
6,079
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New York
True...I've heard the same things...which may make it all the more interesting. But I agree the likelihood of a Jackie return is remote.