Artie Refused To Take Drug Test.

TheScionicMan

Last non-Hating Stern Fan
Oct 11, 2008
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I bet he missed fewer days of work in the last 3 years than most people posting here. I know he's got me beat...
 

Forevernever

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Dec 3, 2008
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I bet he missed fewer days of work in the last 3 years than most people posting here. I know he's got me beat...

He only has to work 4 days a week, 5 hours a day, and he gets triple or quadruple the number of vacation days as a normal full-time employee. Given that schedule, no one should miss a single day save for a major life-threatening illness (or a "lower GI").
 

Ifandorbut

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Oct 12, 2008
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I have yet to see any company throw its "Substance Abuse" policies out the window. We had a lady get caught smoking weed in the bathroom and they fired her ass on the spot.

I'm certain that the very second Artie is caught doing any drug while at work he will be sat down and talked to immediately by the higher ups. After a "stern" talking to(not a Stern talking to) he will be allowed to return back to work.
 

k9feces

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Oct 20, 2008
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I'm certain that the very second Artie is caught doing any drug while at work he will be sat down and talked to immediately by the higher ups. After a "stern" talking to(not a Stern talking to) he will be allowed to return back to work.

I wonder if he has a legit prescription for the Subutex or whatever it was he was taking on Friday.
 

Forevernever

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Dec 3, 2008
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I wonder if he has a legit prescription for the Subutex or whatever it was he was taking on Friday.

I'm sure he does, but I'm also sure he's got a "Dr. Feelgood" type doc on the payroll. When he admitted that his "lower GI" absence was a lie (shocker - you don't just "get" a lower GI series; you need to prepare for it at least 24 hours in advance), didn't he mention he "knew a guy" that could get him a doctor's note whenever he needed one? Same probably goes for prescriptions.
 
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Oren

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Oct 13, 2008
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He's using. I'm sure of it. Since he's been back from, ahem, "rehab", he seems like he's "racing", especially lately. And when you see him on HTV he's suddenly developed a habit of licking his lips constantly. It wouldn't surprise me if he's back on coke as a substitute for heroin and that he's doing coke again because that's what people least expect. Also, the effects of coke is the opposite of H, so that could throw people off the track and make them think he's off the H.

Artie does tend to fuck up bigtime when things are going really well in his life.
It could be that the success of Too Fat To Fish is getting the best of him.
 

Forevernever

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Dec 3, 2008
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I for one won't shed a tear for the asshole when he does kick it. I was genuinely sorry to hear Hank the Drunken Dwarf die; there was a guy who had a terrible life, and his addiction was understandable. This fat fuck has everything (and deserves nothing - he's a mediocre talent), and not only is he throwing it away, he's spitting in the faces of those who gave it to him. Fuck him...if its not a schtick (these days, you have to preface everything about this show with that disclaimer).
 

electricpotato

New Member
Oct 16, 2008
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Anyone that has read Artie's book can see the writing on the wall. He's not done with his love affair with drugs. I think it was smart of Howard to realize that and throw the bet out the window.
I agree with Richard Lewis and everyone else that has had a say in the matter - he has dodged multiple bullets while on heroin. He hasn't hit rock bottom (I know, I think we're all sick of hearing that phrase, but it's true).
He will be back on the horse again...and again...and again. Until he either dies or has a near death experience. It's a shame it has to come to that but you can see it coming a mile away.

And if I could speak to Howard personally, I would tell him that he's absolutely not helping in the least. Howard has stated that he doesn't care what Artie does since he still does a good job at work. No, Howard. That's not being a "bro".
Artie will kill himself, all the while doing a great job for the show.